Author Topic: How About Poetry???  (Read 647345 times)

egonSchiele Offline 00

  • Major Forenkenner
  • *****
  • Posts: 452
Antw:How About Poetry???
« Reply #3540 on: May 07, 2021, 08:39:21 »
Time

Time is not fixed in me
In its fluidity
I can reach out to my distant memory
I can feel the past vividly
I can sense it

In a sense, you can keep traveling
Back in time by borrowing
Your mind
From right now
Sinking it into
The past life
Like into a warm bath

But if time stands still
Our bodies still move in it
In one given pre-defined direction
Our biology
Moves us like a flow of water
Moves leaves, twigs,
Everything
That gets onto its surface

Time is not fixed in me
In its fluidity
I can reach out to my distant memory
I can feel the past vividly
I can sense it

Time is not fixed in me
In its fluidity
I attempt imagining
How I would reach out to this moment
From the body of my 20 years more senior
Self

I am asking
Would I be upset
Or happy
With what is happening?
When things go bad -- do something good.

egonSchiele Offline 00

  • Major Forenkenner
  • *****
  • Posts: 452
Antw:How About Poetry???
« Reply #3541 on: May 07, 2021, 15:30:41 »
Being wrong

If I could
I'd be sending a small
Lettered disclaimer
To everything
"But I might be wrong"

Except the cases
Of obvious atrocity
You can't justify deliberate torture
But some would say they're tortured
By a 5-minute waiting
In a line

And once a friend told me
That I must stop saying
"I'm sorry"
So often
Or others would think I
Lack in self-confidence
And

I asked him
"And what?"

And he said "you don't want to
Come across that way"
Like it might harm me

And I'm still confused

And maybe in our youth
We aren't self-absorbed
Maybe we're lost
In the conflicting messages
That are so profuse
We take them for the truth
And so maybe
If we take a look
We will see in their actions
What we used to overlook
Take for granted

But whatever they repeat
Were they truly who invented it?..
When things go bad -- do something good.

egonSchiele Offline 00

  • Major Forenkenner
  • *****
  • Posts: 452
Antw:How About Poetry???
« Reply #3542 on: May 08, 2021, 09:07:40 »
***
So she said
Beauty is cruel
The more you have
The further you have to fall
The more you rely on it
The harder you hit the earth
Everything goes south
Time goes forward


So she said
I’ve heard so much and I care
Some would say
I’m a part of the problem
How billions of dollars
Are made
To make beauty stay
In one place
I am the one who injects
Toxins to counteract
Their aging


She said
They suffer
Terribly
All these fawned for their beauty
Especially those reliant
On it
How they get ditched
For someone younger
Beauty is hard to lose
In the world that puts it higher
Than anything you can learn to be
In the world praying for eternal youth
Surprisingly
All the compliments of afore become
Feeling more
Like chains
Showing how strikingly
You’ve changed
What you’ve lost
What you had


And especially hard it is for those
Who relied on beauty to sail through
Their life, who put everything onto
This wild card


And she said
In our culture, you’re punished much
For aging and being not conventionally pretty
Especially if you are a woman
And pretty woman
Is maybe an anthem for a future
Tragic fight


And I read another woman
She says
Being gorgeous was maybe nice but
I also got harassed and
Disrespected much for it and
It’s totally overrated because mostly
It helps you on the entry-level but
The corporate ladder and just life
Are much longer than that
When things go bad -- do something good.

egonSchiele Offline 00

  • Major Forenkenner
  • *****
  • Posts: 452
Antw:How About Poetry???
« Reply #3543 on: May 09, 2021, 18:08:54 »
***
Look into it
Look into it longer
Freeze this moment
Look into it longer
See how it expands further
Into the back and into the now
And into the future

It’s your understanding

Look into it longer
Hold for a moment
Don’t rush
Don’t make any conclusion
Just breathe
Just look
A little bit longer
Feel how something clicks
How things start
Making some sense
How they fall into some order
Some pattern

It’s your understanding

You have to understand
What you can
You have to know
To have control
Over yourself and the world
Outside yourself

Grief
Yet another friend is grieving
Losing her father
I feel helpless
I’m crying with her
I don’t know
Where should be the boundary
What should I say
I don’t know
I don’t want to be sympathetic
Only
I want to help more
I don’t know what to do
I can’t hold her hand
I can’t hug her

Maybe I can paint
A portrait?
Of them together

I wish I could but I can’t make it go away
I’m clueless about how she feels and yet I know
I’m crying easily if I let it come close
I don’t know the boundary
I want to know
How I can help
I can’t utter a word
I imagine her face
I want to brighten her world
Yet I know she has to grieve it all
To let it go
Or I think I know
So I do what I can to console
And I wish she could be hurt no more
I just wish I could hug her
When things go bad -- do something good.

egonSchiele Offline 00

  • Major Forenkenner
  • *****
  • Posts: 452
Antw:How About Poetry???
« Reply #3544 on: May 10, 2021, 09:45:07 »
***
I'm crying my heart out
Because so many are
Crying internally

I'm just crying with them
I let myself cry
All these tears must leave me
Before I can see
What can I do, truly
What can be done
To change it
When things go bad -- do something good.

egonSchiele Offline 00

  • Major Forenkenner
  • *****
  • Posts: 452
Antw:How About Poetry???
« Reply #3545 on: May 10, 2021, 17:11:44 »
***
I look at these feelings
Like on an assortment of colors
Here is love
Here is hope
Here is understanding
Here is pain
Here is feeling invisible
Here is helplessness
And shame
Here is me needing you
Here's you pushing me away
By showing
How little I mean
To you

All these colors
Which ones should I pick?
Which ones do you nudge me to pick?
When things go bad -- do something good.

egonSchiele Offline 00

  • Major Forenkenner
  • *****
  • Posts: 452
Antw:How About Poetry???
« Reply #3546 on: May 11, 2021, 12:27:12 »
***
'Poets do not make great husbands'
I understand your bitterness
I know it's not true

Irresponsible men do not make great husbands
Immature people burn things to ashes
Let's not nod along to this
As if it can't change

Let's not make boys out of men
If we need something in this world now
More than ever
It's responsible, sensitive, grown-up husbands
And fathers

Simply put, men

Who can show it further
How being sensitive doesn't mean being self-focused
You can run into wine and pleasures
Or you can run the world

You can change the world
Or you can keep finding
What's wrong with it
Hoping
It would change on its own

Let's not infantilize men
For years we had poets
Both mature and not

It's a choice
Let them make their choice
And bear its consequences
When things go bad -- do something good.

egonSchiele Offline 00

  • Major Forenkenner
  • *****
  • Posts: 452
Antw:How About Poetry???
« Reply #3547 on: May 11, 2021, 13:52:09 »
***
Strange, isn't it
I feel how
I don't want to write poetry
Or compose music
Anymore

Is it like wanting to die
But feeling too numb for it?

Does this pain make me look dramatic
And makes my feelings trivial?
My feelings mean nothing

Can it make anyone ecstatic
Seeing another suffer?

I don't want to write poetry
Or think of another
Way of expressing myself

Would it also make me
Do unto others
How I feel done unto today?

Would it lead to anything
But more pain
Again?
When things go bad -- do something good.

egonSchiele Offline 00

  • Major Forenkenner
  • *****
  • Posts: 452
Antw:How About Poetry???
« Reply #3548 on: May 12, 2021, 21:18:09 »
***
I didn't know
But I'm glad I learned

This feeling of shame
Going into awe
Of understanding

A female taxi driver
Looking so different
From the tv stars
Of her age

And now I know
She's not grumpy
It's just age
She simply looks so

When I learned
I felt so sorry
For being so ardent before
In exposing

Not everyone
Of course, it's not that general
Of course, we all should have control
If we want to
When we can

The truth is
I didn't know
But I'm glad I know now
When things go bad -- do something good.

egonSchiele Offline 00

  • Major Forenkenner
  • *****
  • Posts: 452
Antw:How About Poetry???
« Reply #3549 on: May 13, 2021, 10:12:09 »
***
In the cold light of growing up
Things can seem mercilessly
Sharp-edged, clear cut

But
The truth is it's infantile
To climb up
For the fame or pleasure
Of being high up
It's the adult
Way of winning the affection
Of Mom or Dad

But it doesn't mean those free
From the ladder
Are better or cleaner
Or even freer
Or more grown-up

I'm not sure these categories even fit
Humanity
They're too broad
Too label-like

I remember how someone
Pretty important just said
"I know people that
Could've made it big
They had all that one could need
For it:
Education, connections, ties...
But they chose to disappear
Inside a structure,
A slow machine
To make it better
To turn its path to
Improve the lives of people
Of so many people
And nobody even knows their names

And I remember how someone
Very famous
Was discussing who truly is a hero
Who deserves the badge
And the honor
In his short essay
For him
Heroic acts weren't enough
He felt like
Dissecting it
Tarnishing it

He wanted to disrupt
What he didn't even want to know how was working
Or why

He was a very cruel unhappy man
With a golden tongue of self-delusions
And direct lies

And I feel like a very cruel child
But I don't understand
I'm curious
I don't care how you call yourself
How you call another person

Your actions will always testify for you
As do your choices
It might not be well-known
But the ripples go everywhere
Sooner or later the waves come to you
The longer you put it away
The harder it hits

And I know no other method
But trying to understand
I apologize profusely
Because I might not know
And as adults
We have to do what needs to be done
But we also must know why
We have to stay curious
Like children
To take care of ourselves
And every child
When things go bad -- do something good.

egonSchiele Offline 00

  • Major Forenkenner
  • *****
  • Posts: 452
Antw:How About Poetry???
« Reply #3550 on: May 13, 2021, 12:20:12 »
***
I am staring at myself in the mirror
I'm silently asking God
Or praying
I hope it's temporary
Not that scary thing
Affecting others rarely
But still it could be me

What would I do
If I have it
And have it severely?
Would I wear a mask?
And what do these people do?
Do they hide?
I've never seen them before

Could I also be one of the affected
Or is it just a slight response
From a trauma
And it will pass?

And why don't we still know why it happens?
How do these people feel?
How do those affected
Feel in this
World?
When things go bad -- do something good.

egonSchiele Offline 00

  • Major Forenkenner
  • *****
  • Posts: 452
Antw:How About Poetry???
« Reply #3551 on: May 13, 2021, 14:20:05 »
Peace be with me

Peace be with me
As I enter the stage
Demanding courage

The ultimate courage
In facing the things
I might not be able
To change

The courage of facing
Reality
Of myself
And others

After crying comes laughter
Years ago I wrote
That I, too, would die
Asking the reader
To smile
From beyond the rainbow
Of sad tears

That I would laugh loudly
From above
Looking at the end
Happily

Nobody laughs more easily
Than someone who knew death
Can walk just by

Can snap everything instantly

I didn't expect this
But you never anticipate
What really comes

Peace be with me
It might not be tragic
Or it might be

Maybe it's only
Something that will help me
Learn about others
Or laugh about it
How scary
It used to be

Strange, how I didn't notice
I kept looking at the same spot
Coming up with different reasons
Various fears
Yet paralysis
Was the last that could've been foreseen
By me

Yet strangely
It's maybe not surprising
If I were more attentive
I maybe would have seen
It coming

For how long has it been happening?

Peace be with me
As I'm learning
What is to come
« Last Edit: May 13, 2021, 14:21:43 by egonSchiele »
When things go bad -- do something good.

egonSchiele Offline 00

  • Major Forenkenner
  • *****
  • Posts: 452
Antw:How About Poetry???
« Reply #3552 on: May 14, 2021, 20:33:48 »
***
I would have liked to address
Each of you
In your language

I belong to all of you

Bloodshot eyes
No compromise
Somebody has to
Pay


In my blood
In my genetic code
You both are

Your languages
Stream through my heart

How can you fight
Tell me
But I know how

If I could
I would have told you
To stop

But I'm already looking at you
Through the eyes of your crying child
When things go bad -- do something good.

egonSchiele Offline 00

  • Major Forenkenner
  • *****
  • Posts: 452
Antw:How About Poetry???
« Reply #3553 on: May 16, 2021, 11:08:35 »
***
What do you do
When you can’t change your mind
Can’t believe someone could
Hurt their own child
Which is you?

You tell yourself you’ve been
A bad child
If you try changing
You can avoid being hurt
Like that

What do you do
When someone you respect and like
Makes you appear like you’re nothing
For his heart
You feel so hollow inside
And you tell yourself
If you were like that
Like those he liked and found nice
You could have avoided
This torture

You want to blame yourself like that
In order to feel like
You could have changed it
Or that he couldn’t change it
Just because of how you both are

What do you do when you cry
In pain but the one hurting you
Acts like they’re in pain
When you try saving yourself
From more tears?
You just want to die
« Last Edit: May 16, 2021, 11:10:10 by egonSchiele »
When things go bad -- do something good.

egonSchiele Offline 00

  • Major Forenkenner
  • *****
  • Posts: 452
Antw:How About Poetry???
« Reply #3554 on: May 16, 2021, 17:52:13 »
***
Even when you're angry
You still love
You wonder
You want to understand

Even when it hurts
You still question
Was it in yourself?
Why it hurts?

Even when you question
You question to learn
How it is
How it can be
Fixed
If something is broken?

And you can't always feel upbeat
And not everything can be perfect

You can hold space
For apology
And your own imperfect self

Love is grace
In giving and taking
In holding accountable
And releasing
From blame

Love is not for gain
Except for gaining more love
Love is understanding
Love is care

Love is wanting another
To be happy and sane
Love is desire
Which can be insane
Love may want to hurt
But would never knowingly
Make another hurt

Love will listen
And ask questions
Love will speak
And love can wait
For answers

Love hears you
And sees you as someone
Who has feelings
Love is after
Choosing
Your ever-changing being
When things go bad -- do something good.