CONFESSION ROOM...

[Kitty]

I confess woke up with words from the song I wrote together with this forum in the past for the 20th anniversary ... and lucky me found it back in my archives    no matter how many years past by but the love with which I wrote the melody back then... the lyrics... the emotion in my voice... it's all still inside of me... no matter what happend, no matter how things changed ... pure love... in its purest form... thankful

[Shadows-In-Twilight]

Yeah you told me that, and you really grew in life seeing all the things you went through. I think it's the right perception in that you give him space to grow into whatever it is that needs to get into reality between the two of you. Really beautiful to see that. I can imagine the hurt that goes together with that though... I told you I think that I've been in a comparable situation when I met my husband and he needed time to decide for himself what he wanted. It's just that sometimes waiting and giving people space to be who they need to be and want to be is part of our lessons in life I guess... sometimes people come into our life solely for that as well, that's my experience. Time will show you indeed, I just really hope that you don't let it drag you down. You're such a beautiful bright soul on discovery, it would be a pity that you lose track of your own path because of something not going according to how you expect it...you know things usually happen than when we expect them the least and from corners where we didn't see them coming. I wish you to find peace but when I read your words now I think you have and you see it as a gift for having him in your life and all the rest will find its way eventually.

i grew a lot indeed, and sometimes even i'm surprised by my way of thinking, because old Klodi would have just cried it all out loud and made others feel sorry for her    well, not anymore. but i guess all of those bad things had to happen for me to grow to this point. i won't let myself down anymore for anyone. but really, anyone. not him, not anyone else. that's the best and the only good thing i've got from my ex - he always told me i should never love others more than i love myself, and i needed a long time to understand this. but still, yes, this guy - he truly IS a gift to me in all the ways, and i've told him this before i even had any higher feelings for him. he never responded to that one though - as far as i noticed, he's having some troubles accepting compliments about himself, and it looks to me he's also not used of so much attention and someone caring about him. i remember i kept asking him every day if he ate anything because he's just working and working and working and forgetting about his meal breaks, and he's apparently had it enough, i caught him in a bad mood, and he barked at me it's none of my business, but after a few hours he came to say "thank you for caring so much" and he said it so quietly that i could hardly hear him    it made me wanna punch him in the face for giving me such a mean reply before, but seeing those eyes and his shy smile ... yeah, i guess it's clear i punched his face only in my mind 

I confess woke up with words from the song I wrote together with this forum in the past for the 20th anniversary ... and lucky me found it back in my archives    no matter how many years past by but the love with which I wrote the melody back then... the lyrics... the emotion in my voice... it's all still inside of me... no matter what happend, no matter how things changed ... pure love... in its purest form... thankful

the one you and i wrote before that party in Berlin?    oh, those were some awesome times    one of my favorite memories 



i confess i should be sleeping ... 

[egonSchiele]

I confess I'm always scared I would be misunderstood and thus would hurt somebody. Or misunderstand and hurt.

[Kitty]

@Klodi: yes, that one I need to get on my laptop but resistance because holidays 

@EgonSchiele: we can't do good for everybody. We can't foresee or predict everything...how people will understand and respond to something is their issue... The intention with which we speak and handle is the only influence we have. Pureness from the heart. But I do understand your fear! I often swallow things create war with myself out of fear to be misunderstood and cause hurt... Often the opposite is true: silence can hurt pretty much too.

I confess today I felt something old anew, I love it!!

[Kitty]

I confess:
Ich mach' das einfach mal auf Deutsch weil's einfacher geht. Während ich "Lass die nach nicht über mich fallen - reprise" hörte gab's einigen Flash backs meines Lebens... Einsichte habe ich schon mehrfach bekommen wenn ich dieses Lied (mit dem WUNDERBAREN atemberaubende Spiel der Gitarre) hörte aber heute überfiel mir ein Gefühl wenn ich diese Flashbacks hatte... Momente in meinem Leben, die mich zutiefst berührt/verletzt/mitgenommen habe... die Eindrücke in meinem Leben hinterlassen haben, die ich niemals mehr löschen kann/will/möchte (wenn ich je dement werde, werden dass wahrscheinlich die Sachen sein die ich immer wieder wiederhole). Aber gleichzeitig überkam mir, ich die immer jeder rate in sich hinein zu horchen wo Gefühle her kommen um sie zu verstehen, das Gefühl und die Wissenschaft dass es sovielen Sachen gibt wobei ich niemals nachgedacht habe, ich habe sie nie einfach sein lassen, ich habe sie nicht einmal zuvolle begriffen, ich habe nie meine Gefühle drum herum akzeptiert, ich habe nie verstanden weshalb manche Situationen mich derart aus der Fassung gebracht haben, dass ich jeder der ich lieb hatte weggestossen habe... ich habe niemals begriffen worum es geht, niemals einsehen wollen dass auch meine Gefühle ausgesprochen werden dürfen und irgendwie sein dürfen... 'es ist mir scheissegal" EBEN NICHT! mein Gott wie blöd können wir Menschen doch sein? Dabei ist unsere Seele so allesumfassend, hat sie Verbindung zu dass eigentliche Sein, SIND wir Teil vom Allen und trotzdem... so blöd... naja herzlichen Dank, lieber Tilo und liebe Anne, wenn ihr das hier noch jemals liest, für das Hirnspülen, das Augenöffnen, die Liebe die mir die Kraft gibt um das zu sein was ich sein muss, die Freundschaft, das Licht, dass ihr sovielen Menschen entgegen bringt. Und verdammt, danke für das megaschöne Lied dass mich überall verfolgt seitdem ich es das erste Mal hörte, sogar im Traum habe ich nie meine Ruhe davon *Lacht*.

I confess that I realise to be full you need to open, let it all in but also let it all out. And consequences need to be worn with proud...