Author Topic: Don't know where to post this...  (Read 5945 times)

Grazia Offline ru

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« Reply #15 on: June 20, 2012, 21:25:14 »
dear friend!!! i think much is already said, i'll be short! when you feel frustrated - just go out early in the morning! breathe in the air - our planet is so beautiful. My dream is to go see the other side of the world where you live, i've seen so many pictures - you live in such a beautiful country. Just ask yourself - have you seen enough beauty of this world to leave it that early? Talk to someone, don't bury the pain inside yourself!
Depression, when you have it, has a positive side which can be used - create as much as you can. There are no more perfect time to create! And it heals.
And also, one more thing which must be sufficient - killing yourself you are killing your mother also, i understand this pretty much now, being a mother.
Greetings from St.Pete

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« Reply #16 on: June 23, 2012, 06:50:34 »
Arlishan, I'm very sorry to read this and that you had to resort to such outlets. From a neuro psychology perspective (I've been studying for years/work with these topics on daily basis), there is no instant "wake up, see life, and live" cure. So many neurotransmitters levels are depleted and spiraling out of control. These things don't jump back after an electrical shock or epiphany. They need certain potent SSRIs or other meds to raise them to a functioning level. I'm going to be blatantly honest here but it takes months. Without allowing yourself to be helped, it can be virtually impossible to think straight or do any daily tasks. This is a timely matter which needs very close attention. Personally, after reading several of your situations, I would discuss w/ your doc about trying different meds and therapeutic outlets. As for Tilo and Anne, yes they are wonderful musicians and people but they aren't the solution. You have to realize further that this conditions needs a lot of time, love and care. You've gotta slowly learn to love yourself and believe in the treatments given to you.  There is a way out of these conditions and it's proven.

And as Olya said,

"killing yourself is also killing your mother"

I think many people in times of internal crisis, forget to think about their loved/closed ones. They WON'T be fine without you after some time.

Arlishan Offline mx

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« Reply #17 on: June 27, 2012, 05:47:47 »
Girls, I re-read all the replies now and saw some I hadn't seen last time. It's been 15 days after the attempt and I feel different. I have started therapy with a logotherapist, a kind of psychological line that seeks to find a reason to live though a spiritual outlet. And I have come to discover that I have closed myself to my own feelings- no wonder why I didn't enjoy re-reading Goethe's Werther a while ago. Tomorrow I will see my psychiatrist and discuss what can be done to help my health. I know, and now go back to the knowledge that Tilo and Anne won't save me on their own, but the music was the only thing I was holding to in those last moments. My last connection with the world has always been sound- for example, when I forget someone's voice, I realize that person is lost in oblivion for me. I was so disconnected and desperate that I even phoned Unwanted at the hospital. He didn't listen to me, and I don't really need to talk to him, it was a reflex of desperation.

So I want to use this post to ask you, my therapist told me that the spirit never falls ill, thus I need to re-connect with my spirit if I want to regain my mental health. So she asked me to find things that connect me with my spiritual self besides art and music. She suggested meditation but insisted this woundn't be just enough. So what would you recommend me to do? How do you connect with your spiritual selves? I'm not religious, so I can't rely on religion to do this. At least none of three main religions will help.

Kitty Offline be

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« Reply #18 on: June 27, 2012, 09:07:13 »
I am very happy that you searched help and that it's such a clever help you got there... What I personally do to seek myself again is as well meditation which helps me very well to discover the strength and peace inside of me... but mostly I combine it with doing yoga, becoming aware of every muscle in your body is very donno how to call it, it makes you more aware of what a fantastic thing a body actually is. Next to these I adore the transcendence in making a walk with good music, mostly I'm away for like 1,5 hour to 2 hours unless I have more time then I dare to make a walk from over 4 hours. Afterwards there's the same peace and strength inside of me as when I do yoga and meditation... the same with swimming, after swimming  I get these vivid dreams of what I want in life. And then I have of course creating music which lets me connect to my inner self as well... I think you need to experiment and don't let go of your wish to find yourself... you can never fully understand or know yourself I think, human beings and life on its own are too complex for that, but we can at least try and feel happy... EVERYTHING starts with thoughts, they're the source of how you feel, the difference between telling yourself that you must do something or you want to do something means a sea for your emotions and state of mind and the actions you'll eventually take to accomplish what you had in mind. Try to implement this new kinda way of seeing things, it'll help you for sure. I have of course also my belief, which is not pure catholic but is also very much inspired by Hinduism ever since I do yoga and meditation and feel the energy inside of me and the energy surrounding me. Try to read around a bit, a belief can give you this specific strength nothing else can... the believe that you have a purpose on this planet, an ultimate aim of sharing love and being good for yourself AND for others , gives a lot of satisfaction :)  which you can hold on to whenever you do something out of anger or frustration which you regret afterwards; if we would already be perfect on those matters, there would be no use of us being here, I always tell myself. It's not an excuse to make mistakes, it's my drive to do better which I wouldn't be able to if I drown in regret and self-pity. And I learned recently by reading a very inspiring book to change lifestyle, that you can search yourself a code-word which means for you "getting into action" to do whatever you had planned or whatever you'd like to do... with me it turned out to be just "gogogo + last name" these words inspire me a lot and give me that little extra to finally move my ass :D it's just a tip that I give :) in case you have this problem of getting into action as well. Hope you find your ways of connecting to yourself! We're always here for ideas :)
When you can dream it, you can do it!

lacrima_mosanium Offline pl

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« Reply #19 on: June 27, 2012, 11:54:15 »
I'm a religious person but I won't suggest you that if you're not ;) I find a lot of spiritual strength and peace at my karate training. Almost all eastern martial arts bring a lot of calmness, you look deep into your soul and find inside of you things you weren't even aware of before. And you don't have to be super athletic to start learning it, anyone can do this. So that's my suggestion... Kitty wrote a long post and I also agree with her so there's no need for me to duplicate what she said but in different words :)
"The mediator between head and hands must be the heart." - Thea von Harbou

Grazia Offline ru

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« Reply #20 on: June 27, 2012, 12:45:43 »
That's great to hear you get the help, Arlishan! Well, the spiritual world for me is to fulfill my spiritual pleasure needs, doing what i really love. That's all. Get pleasure!
I was asked rather often, when i used to smoke - why do you smoke? don't you want to be happy? i answered, that happiness is something abstract and pleasure is real, those are different things. You can't say what and when makes you happy. I mean, there's no need to start smoking or whatever harmful, but to organize yourself pleasure of doing something relaxing your soul is to let yourself be free from bad thoughts and fears and to SEE YOURSELF AND YOUR OWN SOUL more clear ))) That's what my complicated logic knitted from the information )))
Greetings from St.Pete

Fannie Offline mx

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« Reply #21 on: June 28, 2012, 00:27:29 »
First of all I am glad that you seek help and then you feel better.  :)
About the spiritual connection: Religion isn't the only way to connect with your spirit, but God is. And don't  think of God as the way that religions have always proposed. God is like a flame, is a energy and that energy lives inside of you, when you are aware of this you will know that this energy keeps you alive!, also to connect with your spirit first you have to know yourself, if you know yourself, you can know everything and is also important that you connect with your body, you must be aware of your existence is not in vain, you are here in this world and at this time for something  ;) and you have to find it.
Maybe it's hard to realize this, it was for me but one day a good friend of mine explained to me this and since then I like to read about metaphysic, it really helps me to understand a lot of things. I can tell you that meditation and yoga are very good, but if you find that spiritual connection by other way is ok! I hope that it helps you  :D
Remember: always keep a positive mind and a smile in your face!  ;D

Arlishan Offline mx

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« Reply #22 on: June 28, 2012, 22:16:29 »
Thank you all for your replies! Your words truly put a smile on my face and makes me want so much to be healthy again! I had never thought of any excersice discipline as a spiritual outlet, but I think it's true! I might research a bit to know which discipline would help me. And with the little incident with my father's rib I realize that I have way too much strenght and I have never taught myself to canalize it. (that, or that my father has became weaker with time!  :o )
And Fannie, your way to describe god as flame is way poetic! I liked that so much.

lacrima_mosanium Offline pl

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« Reply #23 on: June 28, 2012, 22:54:01 »
I had never thought of any excersice discipline as a spiritual outlet, but I think it's true! I might research a bit to know which discipline would help me. And with the little incident with my father's rib I realize that I have way too much strenght and I have never taught myself to canalize it. (that, or that my father has became weaker with time!  :o )

Haha, you would make a good karateka but I don't want to force anything xD Your father was lucky indeed that nothing serious has happened to him :P
"The mediator between head and hands must be the heart." - Thea von Harbou

Fannie Offline mx

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« Reply #24 on: June 28, 2012, 23:26:45 »
And with the little incident with my father's rib I realize that I have way too much strenght and I have never taught myself to canalize it. (that, or that my father has became weaker with time!  :o )
And Fannie, your way to describe god as flame is way poetic! I liked that so much.
haha is good for me that you liked this way to think, many people don't accept it. If you want to know more about that just ask me ;), I'm not an expert on the subject but I'm progressing  :P
I think is good for you canalize all your strenght and your energy in something positive  ;D