Wish I could cut myself lose from whatever it is that burdens my soul ever since I was born... is it possible that people get traumatised by birth and take it with them the rest of their lives? Because somehow in all I do, in all I sense, in all the love and ligth and happiness I carry around me and inside of me and am bathed in... I still manage to feel this distressed, sadness beyond life as if I carry the load of the entire planet on my shoulders... or maybe that's just the path to enlightenment?
I know that being non-stop happy is an illusional thing humankind tries to achieve... I know that without sadness we would never know the value of being happy, loved, light in our hearts... but those periods where everything turns dark in my mind and my heart keep fearing me because when they enter, it seems as if they'll never leave again... eventhough I KNOW they will.
Should stop mourning the past... people that left my heart are welcome back, it's their choice not to and I respect it ... but as it keeps hurting I know from myself I don't accept it.