Recent Posts

11

Off-Topic / Antw:How About Poetry???

« Last post by Kitty on Yesterday at 21:51:45 »

Ungemein stark Deine Anziehung
alles im Sinne Deiner Berufung,
wie ich Seine Liebe für Dich gespürt
Seinen Ruf nach Dir
alles ungemein unerkannt
und ins Leere blicke ich
als ich Angst habe Dich zu verlieren
mein Bruderherz, mein Geistesschmerz,
in der Nichtigkeit unserer Existenz,
Stolz auf Dein Herz,
nur ganz kurze Blicke,
und die Wärme Deiner Umarmung,
die Liebe tief hinein gespürt.
Meinem Weg so lange gesucht
nie gefunden, blind zu sehen und taub zu hören
ignorant die Heilende Hände ausgeschlagen
Deine Liebe für unmöglich gehalten,
doch hätte ich besser wissen müssen,
glauben sollen an der Intuition unserer Vergangenheit
spüren lassen die Seele unserer Zweisamkeit,
Dich eine Chance geben sollen,
auf Ewig Du mein Retter,
ich folge Dich bis in aller Ewigkeit.

12

Off-Topic / Antw:Now and next Playing/What are you listen

« Last post by Kitty on Yesterday at 21:48:30 »

Now&next&then: Refugium - Lacrimosa

13

Off-Topic / Antw:What has made u happy or miserable

« Last post by LUSha on Yesterday at 21:42:12 »

thanks for your words, Lu Sha! It is indeed an eternal battle for balance between protecting myself and being human... Sometimes I have the feeling of standing under non-stop pressure as if everything and everyone is demanding attention from you and at a specific moment you just feel you're at the boundary of what you as human are capable of doing/taking in/understanding/compromising. One of my collegues told me as well I need to learn to be a badass in order to gain respect... but a badass in a respectful way, stand my ground in a respectful friendly way... and I keep on wondering: HOW as a Christen can I possibly combine Badass and respectful/friendly way in one sentence??? It seems so impossible and I seem to stand

Me too like you I can't associate badass with respect, i know that in business you got to be one like that, and i can be one if necessary, I can push people, kick their ass get them to do something, I can confront and being aggressive, I just don't enjoy it. And also because i don't like dictatorship, and hoping everyone takes care of themselves, without being dictacted of what to do--which is by me. I want to be democractic, modest, and want to be peaceful . But i find with certain people you have to treat them like this, it's their character.

I can also perceive people's feelings very good, then i realized, there are some people worth you treating them like this, and quite some people who don't.  Some just take it as advantage over you. I would think in this way, if i can help people, why not. But to them it's showing weakness, and they see something they can use, out of you.
Like my bf said, I tend to empathize to everyone even talking about pure business, I can understand their worry, and worry for their worry, which in some case is unessisary, but then i tell myself, am i going to be those indifferent ones who just stand by, and does that make me happier?
I can't help sometimes being human, I hate egoismus, and that's wrong. Becauase, egoismus survives individuals.
I would think and like, everything regularly, follows the contract, but the spirit of some people here i find, is to bend the law --bend the rules, as long as they don't break it, they won't stick to rules but still making most for their benefits.

I understand all these, just when i deal with it in reality, I'm really like...this is not good--mercy is something you shouldn't have there...showing kindness sometimes means weakness.
But also I don't understand people, who can show lots of kindness and mercy to some groups(friends), and who can be totally merciless to other group(for e.g. business partners) one part is what they pretended to be? or they are good actors? or they have learned this skills? That doesn't look very intergrated to me. So still figure out.....
I remember though the book i read some time ago, who compared the childhood of a typical boy and girl, when they grow up, the girls' group--venus to say so, always tend to find peace and a solution in their groups, while the boys, mars, is always related to competition and harsh....i think that also related to how one grows up.

Now it's good/or not good, that I'm not the only one who had this situation , which means, you are also not alone

14

Off-Topic / Antw:Find a song for the word

« Last post by Asphodel on Yesterday at 20:46:03 »

"Confront me one last time
to tell me all your lies
I wish I had the power
to make this anger go...

Lost something on the way
Something precicus, thought I'd stray...
Beneath my kingdom,so they say,
sleeping dogs protect the way"

Diary Of Dreams - Traum A

word: bless

15

Off-Topic / Antw:Song chain

« Last post by Asphodel on Yesterday at 20:38:32 »

Sisters Of Mercy - Amphetamine Logic (cheating a bit XD)

16

Off-Topic / Antw:What has made u happy or miserable

« Last post by Asphodel on Yesterday at 20:35:32 »

Concerned: my cat is getting fatter and fatter. And I remember her to be a slim kitten! That's what happens when you are eating everything that my granny offers. Fortunately I am stubborn enough not to do so myself. XD

17

Off-Topic / Antw:Trips

« Last post by Grazia on Yesterday at 20:30:56 »

thank you very much dear friends! and indeed it is a paradise definitely obligatory to visit! (they also have a place on this island called Paradisi where the airport is located now) and the weather - starting summer it is sunny all the time, we had one huge 1-hour rain which was very beautiful & pleasant and like a breath of fresh air, after it the sun started to burn again ))) and by the way i like interesting places with rich history, Greece is for sure one of them! i need several vacations to discover entire Greece, 2 weeks is too short time ever for one Rhodes

18

Off-Topic / Antw:Trips

« Last post by Asphodel on Yesterday at 20:30:09 »

Great pics, Olga! Thanx for sharing! Beautiful! It brought me some good memories about my own vacations in Greece, the sea, the nature, and culture... It was almost exactly one year ago!

19

Off-Topic / Antw:Thought in one line

« Last post by Kitty on Yesterday at 19:54:59 »

Kitty, hang in there. Murphy's law is a total myth, an excuse for some people or an attempt to explain bad things that are happening are an effect of it. You have to be positive and stay strong, if not for yourself then for your beloved ones *big hug*

hehehe, a myth created to understand bad things happening I think is more like it in my case... people have a hard time struggling with something they don't understand... to me murphy's law just makes it bearable that I had a hard day because, if everything that can go wrong goes wrong I can understand why today everything went wrong i.e. I can accept it... strange nut in my head thank you for your support! *big hug back*

20

Off-Topic / Antw:What has made u happy or miserable

« Last post by Kitty on Yesterday at 19:47:55 »

Kitty! Big hugs, i would think i wrote this, just a slightly different way. But just now after a long talk with my bf trying to figure out this problem, that we agreed, 1. unter pressure, time pressure, pressure from other people, one is easily to give in in certain situation, but that doesnt mean you are someone who easily give in.
You just need to do--(that's really what my boy told me just now) stand your ground and claim your right, first learn to be a badass, then gain respect out of that, because people do not respect ones who give in too much.
Second is, you need to tell difference of people you deal with, is it your friends, or business partners. I think your problem is similar like me, you've got empathy for people, and you are easily to transfer this empathy to business partners, and that can harm you in some way.

thanks for your words, Lu Sha! It is indeed an eternal battle for balance between protecting myself and being human... Sometimes I have the feeling of standing under non-stop pressure as if everything and everyone is demanding attention from you and at a specific moment you just feel you're at the boundary of what you as human are capable of doing/taking in/understanding/compromising. One of my collegues told me as well I need to learn to be a badass in order to gain respect... but a badass in a respectful way, stand my ground in a respectful friendly way... and I keep on wondering: HOW as a Christen can I possibly combine Badass and respectful/friendly way in one sentence??? It seems so impossible and I seem to stand between others and myself all the damn time, it's so frustrating... I do emphatise very much with people, sometimes people around me look at me like "is she serious?" ... and yes regrettably sometimes with the "wrong" people as well. Today I met someone who started barking at me and I thought of "do not fall back in an eye for an eye!" so I tried to be friendly and understanding...and the more understanding I brought along the more violent he became!!! Can you possibly imagine??? I couldn't believe my ears... but well... it didn't touch me, I have my shield.

Oh Kitty... how annoying that you have such people around you... But remember, you're gifted in so many aspects, including having an emotional strenght and adaptability that many would envy. Your intelligence will help you figure out how to keep this negative energy far away from you and your heart will help you carry out any deffensive mechanisms with love, because after all, what these people need is ultimately, somebody who can bring life into their souls, through love."Love thy enemy", as they say, and you are one of those few remarkable people who can actually make such a difficult task happen, I think. Good luck with everything

*********************

Thank you for your words It's just hard because exactly these people make you aware of how sad the world is today and how easily one falls into sin ... and of your own boundaries in giving love. As I wrote Lu Sha above, it's sad to experience that your own positive feelings, your friendliness and love are the evoker of aggressive behaviour in others, I'm very sensitive to other people's emotions ...and  at such moments I feel powerless and turn in my shield not really knowing what to do and it's so difficult because people around you teach you how to be protective and forget about love, love everyone has a right off! God knows what made this man bark at me today, I SAW the scars time made on this man as he had only one arm... when he barks at me I see a defensive person who feels the need to be understood, I see someone who feels as if he was born for injustice and I UNDERSTAND... I act friendly still even when it hurts what he says and I feel the irritation boil in me and try to help this man get what he wants (and succeeded with a smile) but he was hurt nonetheless because I had to doubt his honesty (by checking with my boss as it's a rule created by mankind) ... and the more effort I made to give him what he wanted the more brutal, harsh and bitter he became... I don't understand that, though I do but it creates such a storm inside of me each time this happens. And on the other hand, when I pour out my heart with other collegues then, I keep on hearing the same thing over and over: you should stop caring... but I can't! I should find a way to take it less personal yes, to somehow be able to find the strength to stop feeling this irritation so that I can just focus on doing good for people without feeling the need to defend myself... as I'm human I know it's utopia... but it is my dream and I'll always fight for my dream...but for god's sake, I'll never stop caring!! eh, thank you for listening to me

State

Miserable: We found two abandoned doggies in bags. They were sick, hungry, hurt and one of them is blind. They seem to be a couple, because they didn't like being taken apart from each other. They were so very scared and fragile......... I just can't understand what kind of a monster would leave these two creatures to die in a bag. I can't understand how a human soul can be so cruel and have so little respect for life. It hurts me very much to think that such horrible things happen on a daily basis while I have so many gifts from life. No wonder we kill each other with such ease... no wonder we are the wolves ourselves... When did humans loose their soul? and what can I do to make things somewhat better? How would I ever help if I don't find my own path?

They were still alive? See that is what you do to make things somewhat better... one person cannot heal the entire world, but everyone can make the world around him a bit brighter (or at least try) by following their own conscious, by listening to their own heart and act accordingly... you did, by not looking away, by not letting those dogs die a sad death in a bag because someone decided they were not worthy of love... you decided to care. I do not wonder neither that some people are capable of murdering strangers let alone their own flesh and blood... just two weeks ago I had a discussion with one of the guys who works at our company... there was a fake-bee zooming around, it rested in a box on the desk and he said "let's get rid of that" and just put his knife in the poor insect... (ok maybe I over-react, as I'm said I have a vulnerable heart) and then he said "oh it's not dead, let's torture it a bit then doesn't matter anymore anyway" ... I screamed and said "how can you do this?" people around me looked quite shocked "it's just an insect" he replied... and I simply said "if you can't care about a little insect that didn't do you any harm, how will you care about humans and yourself?" ... afterwards he asked me whether I was angry, I said no, I'm just sad, ... so sad that humans stopped caring for the gift they were given; life. I was maybe too late to rescue the insect's life, but I wasn't to try and make the guy reason, maybe it's naive of me to think he'd even reason about and listen to what I said but I have the silent hope he did and maybe won't act so recless with life in future...maybe one day it'll be a human who irritated him in front of him and he'll think back of those words. I think the question when we lost our soul isn't really the one to ask, rather how we can protect the rest of our own soul that's still there? I think you found a big deal of your way, Erika, you reflect... so few people still do these days.

Big summer hug everyone! Sending positive vibes!

(Very) Happy : visiting Kitty very soon and for what i think will be a great concert!

wiiiiiwuuuuu ticket is shining in Belgium can't wait till it's friday!!

happy 2 : my interview yesterday went well so i might enter this one-year music management Master next October after all...

Congratz again very proud of your courage!!!

happy and miserable? XD : it's so hot here in Paris! i had missed extreme hot and cold showers and ice creams (!) but also forgot how tiring it is

oh you say it!!! O.o impossible how it's a mixture of happiness that fiiiiiiinally it's hot and sunny and at the same time miserable because I feel soooooo tired as wel!!



States:
happy: for the trust I get at work, the responsibilities I'm given... amazing.
sad: my boss is having a real hard time I think eventhough I try very hard to help him and be the fourth pair of eyes on his back.
happyII: fridaaaaaay already