Author Topic: How About Poetry???  (Read 421048 times)

Maria Offline

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How About Poetry???
« Reply #30 on: July 04, 2006, 18:15:40 »
My "poetry"...
in Russian:

Дитя в колыбели
Со вскрытыми венами.
Он смотрит на белые стены,
Там кружатся тени
Там тени сгорают,
Сгорая, смиренно страдают,
Страдая, рыдают за нас.

Дитя в колыбели
За гордость распятый,
За верность воспетый,
За истину снятый с креста.

Не думай, что кто-то остался,
Не думай, что кто-то поклялся
Спасти, и обнять, и утешить дитя.

Теперь дитя на небесах.
Взгляни на пасмурное небо!
Смотри и верь глазам.
Дитя теперь на небесах
По-прежнему скорбит о каждом,
Робко опустив огромные глаза,
Настойчиво молит о чем-то очень важном.

И не думай, что кто-то теперь очнется
И станет на правильный путь.
Ты не думай, никто не вернется.
Но и крошку уже не вернуть.

and translation of this text in English. I must acknowledge that this translation is very difficult task for me but I tried do it...

Baby is in the cradle
His veins are dissected
Baby is looking at the walls
Where shadows are whirling
These shadows burn.
These shadows suffer
And now are sobbing for us.

Baby is in the cradle
He was raised on the cross
For his pride.
He was lauded
For his devotion
He was come off cross
For his truth...

Don't think
That someone stayed
Don't think
That someone vowed
To rescue, to embrace,
To console the baby...

Now baby is on the sky...
Look at the dull sky.
Look at and believe your eyes!
Now baby is on the sky.
He as before mourn.
He is praying
About something secret.

Don't think
That someone will come back
And will go by right way
Don't think
That someone will come back...
And nobody can return the baby...

Oh. thanks for your attention. Please do not judge my poem strictly!  :oops:  :oops:  :oops:
I can\'t beat you, since I can\'t beat God

Ruin Offline

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How About Poetry???
« Reply #31 on: July 04, 2006, 19:54:33 »
well we are not professional poets i think this thread is for our expression
so we can´t  judge your poem. it is beautiful, thanks for the translation  :)
be silent!, oh! torment
I hide my tears and my sighs
but i am bereft of you!
and i was yours

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How About Poetry???
« Reply #32 on: July 04, 2006, 20:05:06 »
Quote from: "Ruin"
well we are not professional poets i think this thread is for our expression
so we can´t  judge your poem. it is beautiful, thanks for the translation  :)

haha :lol:
i'm not prof. poet but prof. crazy:-)))))))))

Ruin Offline

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How About Poetry???
« Reply #33 on: July 04, 2006, 20:06:36 »
Quote from: "Svetlana"
Quote from: "Ruin"
well we are not professional poets i think this thread is for our expression
so we can´t  judge your poem. it is beautiful, thanks for the translation  :)

haha :lol:
i'm not prof. poet but prof. crazy:-)))))))))


just like me  :lol:
be silent!, oh! torment
I hide my tears and my sighs
but i am bereft of you!
and i was yours

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How About Poetry???
« Reply #34 on: July 04, 2006, 20:13:34 »
Quote from: "Ruin"
Quote from: "Svetlana"
Quote from: "Ruin"
well we are not professional poets i think this thread is for our expression
so we can´t  judge your poem. it is beautiful, thanks for the translation  :)

haha :lol:
i'm not prof. poet but prof. crazy:-)))))))))


just like me  :lol:


хыыыыыыыыыыыы:-0)))))))))))))))) (long russian haha)
 :g5:

Maria Offline

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How About Poetry???
« Reply #35 on: July 05, 2006, 09:44:34 »
Quote from: "Ruin"
well we are not professional poets i think this thread is for our expression
so we can´t  judge your poem. it is beautiful, thanks for the translation  :)


Oh, yes, I agree with you we are not professional poets. We only tell about their own feeling and sometimes it is really beautiful!  ;)  
Thank you and all who are here for your not pretending to be professional but very sincere feelings!
I can\'t beat you, since I can\'t beat God

zlatoglazka Offline

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How About Poetry???
« Reply #36 on: July 06, 2006, 13:15:18 »
Ruin, yes, I like your "SHADOW MASK" in spite of the fact that it is full of poetic stock phrases. But here we are not professional poets ;).

Cristina Daé, your " - Mirage - " is so lacy! It seems to me that it sounds very beautiful in your language, I really regret me don't know it.

Svetlana, oh no, I didn't want to criticize your English at all! It would be curiously - as far as my english is so far from perfection!
What about poems, you pretend to be my favourite poet here!
"B-major’s silver becomes // The cold platinum of G-minor..." - pretty!!!

VicMAP, Gabriel_Liebenden, sorry, but I can't understand Spanish and even don't know how to read it rightly :(, so I can say nothing about poems.

Maria, hm, again "Tranen der Sehnsucht" but more concrete-realistic. But it is only my impression... "veins are dissected " - this theme is too specific for me... and, in general, I'm not the lover of empty-talking about death... Sorry, I understand, that it is simple "sticking" to one phrase.

Well, friends, I criticized yours poems - now you can do the same for me ;).
Sorry, it is not so tragical as yours, but I believe it is quite crazy: it was winter, night, grippe, and HIS phone was switched off... Really, I selected the less cheerful drop of mine for translate and post here ;). Hope you like it =).

"Iced delirium about Sun"

Even being delirious - I love You.
Again - being delirious - I burn with You...
There is no point in singing, sobbing and calling,
May be - I have to wait.
And to know.

Don't know, but to dream in reality
Of summer grass in the sun rays.
But Your voice will bring me back
And, may be, call me again?
Under the ice.

The wave merges into the solid-ice.
The moon can't be seen from under the snow.
The frosty city - land of schemes,
Of roads, bridges, cars and systems
And of walls.

The four thin wall.
The sound of string as a stroke into skull.
I will come to myself by the daylight
And, may be, I will come back home -
Together with You
To the City by Sun.
Or I'll loose my temper...

Delirium!

And in Russian:
"Ледяной бред о Солнце"

Я и в бреду тебя люблю.
Опять в бреду тобой горю...
Нет смысла петь, рыдать и звать.
Быть может, - ждать.
И знать.

Не знать, но видеть наяву
Под солнцем летнюю траву.
Но голос твой меня вернет,
Опять, быть может, позовет?
Под лед.

Со льдом сливается волна.
Под снегом не видна луна.
Морозный город, царство схем,
Дорог, мостов, машин, систем
И стен.

Четыре тонкие стены.
Ударом в череп звук струны.
При свете дня опять очнусь
И, может быть, домой вернусь
С тобой
В город
У Солнца.
Или сорвусь...

Бред!

If you want, you can read some others there: http://www.mavrick-spb.ru/stihi.htm (only in Russian).
www.lacrimosa-spb.ru
Be alive! Be in love!

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How About Poetry???
« Reply #37 on: July 06, 2006, 13:48:32 »
@ zlatoglazka
 :D  really beautiful poem :D
I understand... It's just like my life... sunny ice 8)

zlatoglazka Offline

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How About Poetry???
« Reply #38 on: July 06, 2006, 13:52:03 »
Svetlana, thanks! =)  :oops:
Yes, we understand each other ;)!
www.lacrimosa-spb.ru
Be alive! Be in love!

Ruin Offline

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How About Poetry???
« Reply #39 on: July 06, 2006, 20:55:27 »
@zlatoglazka:you have nice poems too, thanks it is one of my first ones poems so its not very good besides i like more my poems in spanish hehe  :oops:  

Here I have another of my poems :)

Agonía del Sol

El silencio me ha contado grandes historias
la oscuridad me ha mostrado su luminoso corazón
y el odio me ha enseñado la más profunda pasión

El sol cansado ha deseado la noche mas larga
ha anhelado beber la sangre del sacrificio
y he deseado el eterno eclipse

las sombras místicas cubren el lugar
ellas me abrazan friamente
y dejan ciego mi dolor

Una copa con sangre
un alma triste
que mira hacia el cielo

desando como el sol su complemento encontrar
el muere por dentro
no puede llorar

lágrimas en su recorrido se ven el cielo
mil por cada estrella puedes contar
sus cansados ojos estan a punto de cerrar para no abrirse nunca mas.

Sun's agony
The silence has told me great histories
the darkness has showed me it's luminous heart
and the hate has teached me deepest passion.

The tired sun wishes the longest night
the sun wish to drink the sacrifice's blood
i have wished the eternal eclipse.

The mistic shadows cover the place
they touch me with their cold hands
and leave blind my pain.

A bloody cup
a sad soul
that looks at the sky.

The sun wish his other half to find
dies from inside
he can't cry.

Tears on his path you can see
a thousand for each star you can count
his tired eyes are next to close and to open no more.
be silent!, oh! torment
I hide my tears and my sighs
but i am bereft of you!
and i was yours

zlatoglazka Offline

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How About Poetry???
« Reply #40 on: July 07, 2006, 13:57:39 »
Ruin, thanks! =)

Yes, I believe it is naturally, that any poem is much better in it's native language - translation into foreign language often kill the charm of it. It is a great talent - to translate poetry with saving it's beauty - as far as poetry is not only expressing of ideas and feelings but also "playing" with sounds, with word meanings and rhythm and even with construction of sentences - these things are mostly untranslatable.

Your "Sun's agony" is beautiful. I like it most of all your poems here. And... and I believe you the really great Lacrimosa's fan =).
www.lacrimosa-spb.ru
Be alive! Be in love!

Ruin Offline

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How About Poetry???
« Reply #41 on: July 07, 2006, 19:50:00 »
thanks i really aprecciate that you like it :)
be silent!, oh! torment
I hide my tears and my sighs
but i am bereft of you!
and i was yours

Maria Offline

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How About Poetry???
« Reply #42 on: July 08, 2006, 10:27:19 »
in Russian:

Ты хочешь быть на высоте...
Но только, чтобы выше звезд, и солнца выше.
Ты сможешь быть на высоте?
Я знаю, сможешь. Буду ближе.
Ликуй и радуйся, бликуй!
Лови как можно больше света.
Бликуй и отражай... Ликуй!
ТЫ заслужил награду...
Будь смелее ветра!
Тебе понравилось?
Будь горд своей судьбой!
И не проси ни у кого прощения.
Ты сам творец своей судьбы и Ты – герой...
Теперь Ты выше звезд,
ТЫ больше!.. Верь мне.
Когда поймешь,
Что наступило время падать,
Ты опустись на землю ласковым дождем.
А я пойму. Я буду рядом. Мы будем вместе.
Не умрем...

and translation in English:

You want to be in a height,
To be above the stars and the sun.
You will be able rise in a height.
I know, you will be able!
I will be closer.
Exult and rejoice! Shine!
Catch as large as possible a light!
Shine and reflect. Exult!
You have deserved award,
Be are bolder than a wind.
Was it pleasant for you?
Be proud of your fate!
And do not ask to forgive!
You are creator of your fate,
And so you are hero.
Now you are higher than stars,
Please, believe me...
When you will understand
That there has come time to fall ,
Please, return on the earth like gentle rain.
And I will understand you.
I will be near you.
We will be together. And we will not die.


and...
Ruin, I like your poems very much!.. You have an enormous talent!

Zlatoglazka, I cannot agree with more of your words, but I thank you for your opinion, in any event it is useful for me!
But allow me to object about parallels with Tranen der Sehnsucht. I think this song tells us about another things.
...and "empty-talkings about death"... oh, I am not sure that talkings about death can be empty. It is not a daily chatter between two people, I think...
And your poem is really interesting and unusual, I like it!
I can\'t beat you, since I can\'t beat God

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How About Poetry???
« Reply #43 on: July 08, 2006, 21:29:43 »
Well... today is 08/07/06.  2 days before Tilo's birthday... And I write something :lol:
===============================================

HOHELIED dem TILO  :)

Every day, again and again,
 I cross human streams and I understand,
So many people, so many souls…
But the crowd is my  EINSAMKEIT.

I listen to voices, dialogues, sounds,
 - the music violently played and played not for me.
I have to hear it, I can’t   escape.
And  I realize, this music is DAS SCHWEIGEN.

Sometimes it is hard to live…
 I sit down and ask the God to give me force,
 I look at the sky and  beg:
Please, my life, HALT MICH, HALT MICH!

And the tears will ever be clear,
Clear and crystal like the mountain ice.
 And the God will never be able to make them muddy…
These tears are TRANEN  DER EXISTENZLOSIGKEIT.
And love will never leave its haven,
Love will be in its temple forever.
In the temple of HOHELIED DER LIEBE.

ALLES LüGE, ALLES ALLES.
Some days before I was obsessed to believe people.
ALLES LüGE, ALLES ALLES.
I trust in God and in YOU, TILO.
===============================================

 :)

Ruin Offline

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How About Poetry???
« Reply #44 on: July 09, 2006, 00:48:14 »
@ Maria: Thanks a lot  :D your poems are beautiful too  i wish i could read russian to read it on it's original language.

@Svetlana: wow it looks you really love Tilo
 :shock: nice poem
be silent!, oh! torment
I hide my tears and my sighs
but i am bereft of you!
and i was yours