Author Topic: it's a dog's life  (Read 2222 times)

Shadows-In-Twilight Offline si

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Antw:it's a dog's life
« Reply #30 on: September 20, 2016, 18:03:46 »
my dog: "WHY YOU TAKE MY BOWL! YOU NO TAKE MY BOWL!"
my dog: "EY, HUMAN! WHERE GO?! GIVE BACK!"
me: "does that mean you're not hungry?"
my dog: "WHO SAY NO HUNGRY?! I HUNGRY! I STARVE!"
me: "then let me have your bowl, i need to fill it"
my dog: "YOU NO HAVE MY BOWL! GIVE BACK!"
me: "shut up"
my dog: "I SAY GIVE BA... oh, what this? it smell good!"
me: "it's chicken breast an..."
my dog: "CHICKUN BREAST! MY FAVORITE! WHAT ELSE?"
me: "yogh..."
my dog: "YOGHURT! MY FAVORITE!"
me: yes, looks like everything is your favorite. here, eat"
my dog: "nomnomnom, so tasty! i love chickun yoghurt"
*2 minutes later*
my dog: "my human, i come. i hungry. give food"
me: WHAT? i just gave you, go eat"
my dog: "you no give, i no have. bowl empty"
me: "then it means you ate it all. you can't be hungry anymore"
my dog: "I NO EAT! YOU NO GIVE! BOWL EMPTY! GO SEE! I STARVE!"
me: "okay, let's see"
me : "yeap, empty and dir..."
my dog: "see? i say it empty, you no give, but you no listen"



all dogs are great, but mine is absolutely 100% the greatest dog who ever dogged!

Shadows-In-Twilight Offline si

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Antw:it's a dog's life
« Reply #31 on: September 21, 2016, 13:20:04 »
my dog: "my human, i lay on back"
me: "okay, so?"
my dog: "you belly rub belly"
me: "okay, a few rubs, and then you move from here"
my dog: "why move? no move!"
me: "of course, i need to vacuum clean"
my dog: "NO VACUUM CLEAN! YOU BELLY RUB BELLY!"
me: "sweetheart, that was enough for now. i will rub your belly later when i'm done cleaning, okay?"
my dog: "NO LATER! DO NOW!"
my dog: "I SAY BELLY RUB NOW BELLY RUB NOW!"
my dog: "MY HUMAN! WHERE GO? I NO LET GO! I TAKE YOUR LEG!"
me: "come on, you little brat, leave my leg"
my dog: "I KISS LEG! I NO LEAVE! I NO LET GO! BELLY RUB! I KISS LEG!"



all dogs are great, but mine is absolutely 100% the greatest dog who ever dogged!

Shadows-In-Twilight Offline si

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Antw:it's a dog's life
« Reply #32 on: September 22, 2016, 06:28:22 »
my dog: "where go?"
me: "we're going out to pee and to the bakery"
my dog: "why bakery? i no want go bakery, i no go"
me: "come on, i don't feel to go twice, i just came from work"
my dog: "why? why you no sleep by night, why you work?"
me: "we talked about this at least a million times by now. each time i come home from my night work!"
my dog: "i no go bak... oooooooh, my other human also come! i go with my human!"
*outside, my boyfriend walks away as he needs to catch the bus to go to work*
my dog: "MY HUMAN! WHERE GO! WAIT! I TOO COME!"
my dog: "YOU NO PULL BACK! STOP PULL BACK! I GO WITH MY HUMAN!"
me: "stop it. he will come back home, don't worry"
my dog: "but i want go"
me: "i know, sweety, but you cannot. let's go now"
my dog: "where go?"
me: "to the bakery"
my dog: "i no go bakery"
me: "why not?"
my dog: "you leave outside, i no want wait outside, i go with you"
me: "but you cannot, you're not allowed to go in"
my dog: "why not allowed?"
me: "because of your hair"
my dog: "what wrong with my hair?"
me: "oh shut up, stop nagging, lay down and wait for me"
my dog: "BUT I NO WANT WAIT! MY HUMAN! WHERE GO?!"
my dog: "MY HUMAN! COME BACK! I SAY COME BACK COME BACK!!!"
*1 minute later, i'm coming out*
my dog: "MY HUMAN! YOU COME BACK! THANK GOD! I NEED KISS YOU! YOU GONE FOREVER!"



my puppy boy
all dogs are great, but mine is absolutely 100% the greatest dog who ever dogged!

Shadows-In-Twilight Offline si

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Antw:it's a dog's life
« Reply #33 on: September 26, 2016, 18:09:20 »
my dog: "where go?"
me: "to work"
my dog: "again? but why?"
me: "again you're asking this silly thing?"
my dog: "but why you go? i no want you go, i want you stay home!"
me: "you want to eat as well, i guess"
my dog: "i no eat now. you belly rub belly"
me: "come on sweets, i must go, i'm late already"
my dog: "i lay on shoes, you no go work"
me: "move!"
my dog: "belly rub belly"
me: "Art?!"
my dog: "CUDDLE!"


my puppy boy

all dogs are great, but mine is absolutely 100% the greatest dog who ever dogged!

Shadows-In-Twilight Offline si

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Antw:it's a dog's life
« Reply #34 on: September 29, 2016, 06:38:32 »
my dog: why you wear shoes?
me: i'm going to work. no questions, okay?
my dog: okay, but i need pee
me: i will take you, don't worry. just sit here and wa...
my dog: i kiss you. i kiss your tongue
me: EEEEY! YUCK! why did you put your tongue in my mouth?
my dog: i say i kiss you i kiss you. i no care where i kiss
me: okay, but at least avoid my face when i'm talking, please?!
my dog: why? you no love me anymore?
me: oh of course i love you, but your mouth is much dirtier than mine, don't lick the inside of my mouth anymore, okay?
my dog: my mouth clean
me: really? when was the last time you cleaned your asshole?
my dog: two minute ago



all dogs are great, but mine is absolutely 100% the greatest dog who ever dogged!

Shadows-In-Twilight Offline si

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Antw:it's a dog's life
« Reply #35 on: September 29, 2016, 06:49:58 »
*in the elevator*
my dog: ELEVATOR, HURRY! I NEED PEE! HURRY!
me: don't shout, it's not going to make it any quicker
my dog: BUT I NEED PEE!
me: you will pee in a minute
my dog: PEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
me: SHUT UP, WILL YOU?
*walking out*
me: okay, now go pee, you shouting creature
my dog: i pee. i pee 3 drops
me: that's it?
my dog: yas
me: you were shouting that much for 3 drops?
my dog: yas
me: what the...
my dog: i lay down. i need sunbathe
me: WHAT?
my dog: i lay down in sun. i need sunbathe
me: seriously? i'm late already, i have to run to work
my dog: i no care you work, i need sunbathe



all dogs are great, but mine is absolutely 100% the greatest dog who ever dogged!

Shadows-In-Twilight Offline si

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Antw:it's a dog's life
« Reply #36 on: October 01, 2016, 19:50:31 »
my cousin, a high school student of hairdressing, cutting my hair
my dog: "cousin, what you do my human?"
my dog: "WHAT YOU DO MY HUMAN?!!"
me: "i'm fine sweetheart, don't worry, she's just cutting my hair"
my dog: "SHE CUT YOU! i must run my human dad"
my dog: "MY HUMAN DAD, WHAT SHE DO MY HUMAN?!!! SHE K..."
my dad: "you crazy, she's not going to eat her, don't worry. she's fine, see?"
my dog: "i must watch cousin cut my human, i no trust cousin!"
me: "you funny boy"
my dog: "i must watch, you need be fine"
my dog: "EY! COUSIN! you be careful cut my human. i kiss you, you no cut my human"
my cousin: "ey, don't lick my face"
my dog: "i say i lick you i lick you. you be careful cut my human!"
me: "okay, that was quite enough. shut up and go to your place"
my dog: "I NO GO MY PLACE! I MUST WATCH! SHE NO HURT YOU! WHY SHE CUT HAIR?"
my dog: "COUSIN, YOU NO CUT ANYMORE! STOP!"



all dogs are great, but mine is absolutely 100% the greatest dog who ever dogged!

Shadows-In-Twilight Offline si

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Antw:it's a dog's life
« Reply #37 on: October 03, 2016, 18:47:40 »
my dog: "FINALLY! YOU COME HOME! QUICK! OPEN DOOR!"
me: "move, i would like to come in"
my dog: "YOU HOME! I NEED SMELL YOU! I KISS YOU! I SO HAPPY YOU HOME! PAT ME! CUDDLE!"
me: "sweetheart, wait. i need to take my sho..."
my dog: "i no care your shoes, we cuddle! PAT ME! I KISS YOU!"
me: "stop it now! sit!"
my dog: "BUT YOU GONE FOR ETERNITY!"
me: "SIT!"
my dog: "okay, i sit"
my dog: "I LOVE YOU! I NEED KISS YOU! I COME KISS YOU! I SO HAPPY YOU HOME!!!"



all dogs are great, but mine is absolutely 100% the greatest dog who ever dogged!

Shadows-In-Twilight Offline si

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Antw:it's a dog's life
« Reply #38 on: October 04, 2016, 11:35:24 »
my dog: "what eat?"
me: "it's called a pudding"
my dog: "poopding"
me: "no. pudding"
my dog: "give poopding!"
me: "no, pudding is not for dogs"
my dog: "it for dog, you no know what dog eat"
me: "oh really?"
my dog: "yas"
me: "if you say so"
my dog: "i say you no know you no know"
my dog: "we cuddle"
me: "okay, come"
my dog: "i kiss you. pat me"
me: "what do you want?"
my dog: "i no want something. i just cuddle. i love you"
me: "i love you too"
my dog: "then give poopding!"



all dogs are great, but mine is absolutely 100% the greatest dog who ever dogged!

Shadows-In-Twilight Offline si

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Antw:it's a dog's life
« Reply #39 on: October 10, 2016, 21:45:17 »
me: "come on sweetheart, let's go pee"
my dog: "i no go. it rain. i no like"
me: "but you have to pee. come"
my dog: "I NO GO PEE!"
me: "okay, then let's play a little bit"
my dog: "i no play"
me: "why not?"
my dog: "i lazy"
me: "huh? you don't want to fetch the ball"
my dog: "you throw, you catch, you fetch. i no do. i lazy"
me: "ple..."
my dog: "I SAY I LAZY!"
*1 hour later*
my dog: "i bring a ball"
me: "i'm lazy, i won't play"
my dog: "i no care you lazy, i bring a ball we play"



all dogs are great, but mine is absolutely 100% the greatest dog who ever dogged!

Shadows-In-Twilight Offline si

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Antw:it's a dog's life
« Reply #40 on: October 11, 2016, 19:18:40 »
i came home the other day, and strange enough it was not my dog's nose that came first out of the apartment when i opened the door. he was home alone, by the way
me: "i'm home"
my dog: *snores*
me: "sweetheart?"
my dog: *snores*
i walk into the living room and ...
my dog: *snores*
me: "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING THERE!?"
my dog: "YOU NO SHOUT, I SLEEP!"
me: "WH..."
my dog: "MY HUMAN! YOU COME HOME! FINALLY! YOU GONE FOREVER!"
me: "i was gone for 30 minutes. now tell me what were you doing there"
my dog: "where do?"
me: "on the couch"
my dog: "ah. i not on couch"
me: "then who was it?"
my dog: "i not on couch. couch under me"
me: "okaaaay? and what exactly was couch doing under you?"
my dog: "it hold up. i sleep"
me: "tell me about it. you know you're not allo..."
my dog: "I ALLOWED! COUCH INVITE ME!"


my puppy boy

all dogs are great, but mine is absolutely 100% the greatest dog who ever dogged!

Shadows-In-Twilight Offline si

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Antw:it's a dog's life
« Reply #41 on: October 16, 2016, 06:24:51 »
me: "sweetheart, how is your claw?"
my dog: "i break, how claw feel when break?"
me: "it hurts you?"
my dog: "no, it no hurt"
my dog: "my human"
me: "tell me"
my dog: "i no like bandage. i no like sock. remove from paw, i please"
me: "okay, look. i will take it off to see if it still bleeds. if it bleeds, i w..."
my dog: "you no put back. i no like"
me: "if it bleeds, i have to. give me your paw now"
my dog: "i no give paw. i no let you take off"
me: "why not?"
my dog: "it hurt"
me: "huh? but you just sai..."
my dog: "I SAY IT HURT IT HURT!"
after 10 minutes of arguing, i managed to change the bandages. he started bleeding as soon as i touched the claw
my dog: "WHY YOU PUT BACK BANDAGE?!"
my dog: "I SAY I NO LIKE!"
my dog: "TAKE OFF!"
me: "shut up. it has to be there, sorry. for your own good"
my dog: "I KICK YOU! TAKE OFF! I NO LIKE!"
my dog: "I TRY TAKE OFF! I BITE SOCK! I NO WANT!"
my dog: "IT NO HURT ME ANYMORE! BANDAGE OFF!"



all dogs are great, but mine is absolutely 100% the greatest dog who ever dogged!

Shadows-In-Twilight Offline si

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Antw:it's a dog's life
« Reply #42 on: October 24, 2016, 17:06:49 »
*coming from a night shift*
my dog: "FINALLY! MY HUMAN! FINALLY YOU COME!"
my dog: "QUICK! OPEN DOOR!"
me: "hello sweetheart! how have you been all night long?"
my dog: "YOU GONE FOR ETERNITY! HOW I BE? SAD! but i happy now. I HAPPY!"
my dog: "i wag tail. tail make noise"
me: "ey ey, easy, boy. you will wake up entire building"
my dog: "i no care wake up. i happy you home!"
my dog: "tail break everything! i wag tail i happy!"
my dog: "I KISS YOU! I KISS A LOT! I JUMP!"
*2 minutes later, i'm sitting on the couch*
my dog: "i come couch. you hug me, you no play new camara phone"
me: "yes yes, of course i will hug you"
my dog: "you belly rub belly also. i put head in lap"
me: "wait a little bit, please"
my dog: "YOU BELLY RUB BELLY! I NO WAIT! BELLY RUB BELLY! HUG!"
me: "stop shouting, please"
my dog: "I NO STOP! HUG! BELLY RUB BELLY! I KICK NEW CAMARA PHONE!"
my dog: "YOU NO TAKE PHOTO! I HATE!"
my dog: "BELLY RUB BELLY!"


puppy Art

all dogs are great, but mine is absolutely 100% the greatest dog who ever dogged!

Shadows-In-Twilight Offline si

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Antw:it's a dog's life
« Reply #43 on: November 01, 2016, 06:40:00 »
my dog: "my human, what eat?"
me: "a sandwich"
my dog: "i too sandwich. give"
me: "no"
my dog: "yas"
me: "but you don't like bread an you also dislike cucumber"
my dog: "I HATE!"
me: "see? why wou..."
my dog: "my human, you no lie me. it no only bread cucumbur"
my dog: "i like salami. i love cheese. i love babrika!"
me: "you cannot have any of these without the other two"
my dog: "i no eat bread cucumbur. bread cucumbur yuck"
me: "don't worry. you will not eat anything, this sandwich is mine"
my dog: "my human, give! i sit pretty. i give paw. please! i too sandwich no bread cucumbur"
*10 seconds later*
my dog: "i bring a ball"
me: "we cannot play now, i'm eating. wait"
my dog: "we no play. i give ball, you give sandwich no bread cucumbur"



all dogs are great, but mine is absolutely 100% the greatest dog who ever dogged!

Shadows-In-Twilight Offline si

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Antw:it's a dog's life
« Reply #44 on: November 01, 2016, 16:30:48 »
my dog: "i squeak. i annoy you, i squeak!"
me: "stop that, you know i hate it when you do it for nothing"
my dog: "i no care you hate, i want squeak i squeak"
my dog: "where gone?"
me: "i'm in the toilet"
my dog: "when come?"
me: "soon. stop squeaking"
my dog: "I SQUEAK!"
me: "STOP IT!"
my dog: "you no yell me! I KICK CAMARA BAG! YOU NO YELL ME!"



all dogs are great, but mine is absolutely 100% the greatest dog who ever dogged!