Author Topic: it's a dog's life  (Read 2185 times)

Shadows-In-Twilight Offline si

  • Global Moderator
  • Forenlichtgestalt
  • *****
  • Posts: 25889
  • ein blick - ein kuss und dann die ewigkeit
it's a dog's life
« on: August 20, 2016, 14:37:06 »
hi everyone  :)  it's been a long time since i started any topic here  ;D  and i think it's about a time to post something fresh  ;D 

so, as most of you (probably) know, i have a huge fluffy dog whom i love more than anything in my life <3 i have got dogs in my life before him, but he is the first one that i'm raising completely by myself, and that is a really wonderful and beautiful experience. so, i got a chance to choose him when he was only 2 and half weeks old, but it was him choosing me instead. i brought him home when he was 8 weeks old, and since then we shared so much laughter, love, struggles, sadness, happiness, countless of his "first times" and experiences for both of us. the most important of all is that we learnt a lot of things together. about each other. as i watched him grow from an adorable puppy to a gorgeous young dog, i also learnt how to read his behavior and his actions, his moving, sometimes even his "talking" :)  at least i tried. so, from many circumstances i was able to come up with (more or less) funny stories and talks, going on between him and me. i have more than a hundred already, and the number keeps growing. i would like to share them with you, here, in this topic (not all at once, clearly  ;D  ). when i have a bad day, when i'm depressed, sad or just in an ordinary bad mood, i go back to read them, and i always feel better afterwards. i hope i can bring some of laughter to you as well  :) 

(also, you can watch his one year of life here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mHYrKjHKZ_o  <3  and please, don't spread it around, the video is set to private)


edit: ah, i guess i managed to post all of our conversations  ;D  so, this is it ... until the next chat i have with him  ;D  (end of edit)


so, here we go  :)


me: *opens the fridge*
my dog: "what you do?"
me: "i'm hungry, i need t..."
my dog: "i too hungry"
me: "but you ate like 5 seconds ago"
my dog: "that be treats"
me: "no, that was your bre..."
my dog: " TREATS!"
me: "ok, that was treats. now mov..."
my dog: "treats? you give treats?"
me: "no, i didn't mean it that way, you ..."
my dog: "I GET TREATS NOW!"
me: "no, i must eat now!"
my dog: "i halp ..."
me: "no!"
my dog: " ... and then i get treats!"


my dog: "what you eat?"
me: "a banana"
my dog: "i too"
me: "you don't even like a banana"
my dog: "i like"
me: "no you do..."
my dog: "I LIKE"
me: "y..."
my dog: "I TOO"
me: "but you never even eat a ba..."
my dog: "i eat this time"
me: *sighs*
my dog: "look, i adorable. i like!"
me: "promise to eat it?"
my dog: "i promase"
me: *gives a piece of banana*
my dog: *licks licks*
me: "now eat"
my dog: "what this?"
me: "it's a banana"
my dog: "i no like a banana"
me: "eat, you s..."
my dog: "I HATE!"
me: "oh boy ..."
my dog: "i want what you eat"
me: "BUT I'M EATING A BANANA!"
my dog: "i too banana"
me: "*sighs*


my dog: "what you do?"
me: "i'm packing our things, we ..."
my dog: "where we go?"
me: "home"
my dog: "i too"
me: "of course"
my dog: "i too"
me: "yes, you too"
my dog: "i come too"
me: "yes. now move"
my dog: "where you go?"
me: "just taking our things to the car"
my dog: "i come"
me: "i will come ba..."
my dog: "I COME!"
me: "stay here"
my dog: "no, you go without me"
me: "i will be back in..."
my dog: "NO! I COME TOO!"
me: "...a minute. wait here!
my dog: "i no wait. i go home"
me: "wait here, i said!"
my dog: "nooo, you leave me here! i cry"
me: "have i ever left you anywhere?"
my dog: "no"
me: "so? what's the pro..."
my dog: "but you leave me now!"
me: "stop jumping on me! sit and wait!"
my dog: "i sit. now i come"
me: *sighs*


middle of the night
my dog: *lick lick lick*
me: "ey, what are you doing?"
my dog: "nothing, i just wash your face"
me: "why?"
my dog: "it dirty"
me: "but i washed it! it cann..."
my dog: "DIRTY!"


my dog: "why dry food for me?"
me: "because your poop is water"
my dog: "why my poop water?"
me: "because you stole my ice-cream fr..."
my dog: "i no steal"
me: "no, you stole it. you jumped and took without permission, remember?"
my dog: "i no steal. i no take"
me: "then who did?"
my dog: "but it want in my belly"
me: "you sneaky! go eat your dry f..."
my dog: "i no like"
me: "not my prob..."
my dog: "NO! GIVE SOMETHING ELSE!"
me: "you're not getting until your water poop is gone"
my dog: "NOOOOOO!"
me: "YEEEEES!"
my dog: "then i steal again!"


my dog: "aaaaa, you finally come!"
me: "yes, i came"
my dog: "where you gone?"
me: "i went to the shop"
my dog: "for me"
me: "nope, not this t..."
my dog: "for me"
me: "no, for ..."
my dog: "FOR ME! TREATS!"
me: "no, no treats and not for you"
my dog: "TREATS! FOR ME!"
me: "SHUT UP! STOP! GO TO YOUR CORNER!"
my dog: "okay. i go. i get treats now?"
me: "QUIET!"
my dog: "oooooh, you buy chips! FOR ME!"
me: "no, not for y..."
my dog: "i want. give me!"
me: "no!"
my dog: "i come close i sit. here, shake hands, i a good boy."
me: *hahaha*
my dog: "why laugh? GIVE MEEEEEEE!!!!"
me: *sighs* "now your paw suddenly doesn't hurt, huh?"
my dog: "who hurt? what hurt? no hurt! CHIPS!"


my dog: "we go pee"
me: "yes"
my dog: "you take treats"
me: "yes"
my dog: "for me"
me: "yes, for you"
my dog: "for me"
me: "of course"
my dog: "for me"
me: "shut up"
my dog: "ok ... we use elevator"
me: "yes"
my dog: "but whyyyyy?"
me: "because you are not allowed to walk down the stairs"
my dog: "i allowed. i hate elevator"
me: "no, you're n..."
my dog: "i allowed"
me: "n..."
my dog: "I ALLOWED!"
me: "get your ass in the elevator and shut up. sit"
my dog: "treats. you have treats"
me: "so what?"
my dog: "i want"
me: "first sit"
my dog: "okay, i sit"
me: "good boy. take your treat"
my dog: "now i sit again, look. give one more"
me: "oh boy ..." *sighs*


my dog: "where go? i too"
me: "to sleep"
my dog: "ah no, i not"
me: "probably. you slept the day away"
my dog: "i play now"
me: "with who, i'm goi..."
my dog: "with you"
me: "no, i need to s..."
my dog: "i bring a ball. take"
me: "not now, please"
my dog: "TAKE IT!" :(
me: "oh come on, i love you, but i must ..."
my dog: "i love too. take it" :(
me: "okaaay ... but just one throw and then done, ok?"
my dog: "ok. take it"
me: "here, go catch it"
my dog: "where it go? i no find the ball. halp me"
me: "it's right there"
my dog: "HAAAALP MEEEE" :(
me: "okay okay. here. now i'm going to sleep"
*after 5 seconds*
my dog: "i bring a ball. take it"
me: *sighs*


my dog: "what you eat?"
me: "nutella"
my dog: "what it?"
me: "something you're not getting"
my dog: "i get"
me: "nope, you're not allowed"
my dog: "i allowed"
me: "what makes you think so?"
my dog: "you allowed, i allowed"
me: "nope! dogs also eat shit and people don't"
my dog: "i never eat shit"
me: "nope, you're a good boy"
my dog: "you not allowed, i not allowed. you allowed, i allowed"
me: "nope"
my dog: "give me"
me: "it's poison for you"
my dog: "it look like shit, give me!"


my dog: "we play now"
me: "no go, i just came fr..."
my dog: "play! i no care for your work"
me: "good nig..."
my dog: "WE PLAY!"
me: "i must sleep, you assh..."
my dog: "why you no sleep by night, why you work!?"
me: "so you can eat food every day, that's why"
my dog: "food? i get food?"
me: "not now"
my dog: "but you say i get food!"
me: "but you just had your breakfast"
my dog: "i no like dry food"
me: "come on, sweetheart, i must sleep"
my dog: "but we play" :(
me: "later, i promise"
my dog: "okay, i play alone then"
*10 minutes later, sleeping already*
my dog: "good morning. later is now"
me: "GET OUT!"
*10 minutes later, sleeping*
me: "stop licking my nose"
my dog: "i check if you still alive"
me: *sighs*
*10 minutes later, sleeping again*
me: "WHAT are you doing!?"
my dog: "i search for my place. i sleep with you"
me: "okay. but be quiet"
my dog: "i quiet"
*5 minutes later, half asleep*
my dog: "we play then?"
me: "no silence, no playing"
my dog: "okay, i silence"



« Last Edit: August 20, 2016, 16:02:14 by Shadows-In-Twilight »
all dogs are great, but mine is absolutely 100% the greatest dog who ever dogged!

Shadows-In-Twilight Offline si

  • Global Moderator
  • Forenlichtgestalt
  • *****
  • Posts: 25889
  • ein blick - ein kuss und dann die ewigkeit
Antw:it's a dog's life
« Reply #1 on: August 20, 2016, 14:49:31 »
my dog: "wait, you no open the closet without me"
me: "why not?"
my dog: "you take treats out"
me: "oh, really?"
my dog: "yes. for me"
me: "but why would i do that?"
my dog: "you love me!"
me: "but first you need to do a few things to earn it, ok?"
my dog: "i do"
me: "come here. sit"
my dog: "i sit"
me: "shake hands"
my dog: "skip this. here, i do place"
me: "no, first shake hands, then place"
my dog: "okay, i steal from you"
me: "you sneaky little thief!"
my dog: "now i shake hands. give one more"
me: "oh boy ... "


my dog: "why you two hug without me?"
my dog: "hey, i talk to you"
my dog: "i too hug"
my dog: "I KICK YOU!"
my boyfriend & me: "stop it!"
me: "you jealous ass" :D
my dog: "but i too love" :(
my dog: "i kick you again!"


my dog: "why my poop water again?"
me: "because your nose was investigating the garbage behind my back again"
my dog: "what mean?"
me: "it means you stole some garbage food again"
my dog: "my nose no investigate. i no steal"
me: "then what?"
my dog: "it jump to my tummy by force"
me: ...


my dog: "what drink?"
me: "a cappuccino"
my dog: "i too"
me: "no, dogs canno..."
my dog: "i too" *puts his tongue into my cup*
me: "ART, NO! WHAT on earth are you doing?"
my dog: "aaaaah, i no like this. you drink now"


my dog: "wake up"
me: "what?"
my dog: "we play"
me: "but i'm sleeping, later"
my dog: "you sleep enough. we play now"
me: "leave me now. and take your shoe away"
my dog: "i put my shoe in your hand. you hold. i pull"
me: "what are you doing?"
my dog: "you hold"
me: "okay. but just this one. then i want to slee..."
my dog: "i pull"
me: *sighs* "okay, one is done, now go, let me s..."
my dog: "PLAY!"


my boyfriend and me making fools of ourselves
me: "AAAAAAAAAA"
my dog: "ey, you no torture my Klavdija"
my boyfriend: "get out of the bedroom"
my dog: "okay. but i take my Klavdija too" *takes my hand in his mouth and tries to walk out*


*middle of the night*
my boyfriend: "what's that sound?"
me: "i don't know"
my dog: *snores*
my boyfriend: "your dog is snoring"
my dog: *snores*
my boyfriend: "i want to sleep!"
me: "Art?"
my dog: *snores*
me: "Arty?"
my dog: *snores*
me: :D


me: "what are you doing?"
my dog: "i take my branch. i leave it here before"
me: "yeah? what for?"
my dog: "i play"
me: "ey, it's 1.30 am, we came out to pee, not to p..."
my dog: "i play"
me: "tomor..."
my dog: "i play"
me: "GO PEE!"
my dog: "okay, i pee"
me: "done?"
my dog: "yas. now i take my branch up"
me: "where up?"
my dog: "my carpet. and then my bed"
me: "you, mister, are leaving the branch right here"
my dog: "no, i take up"
me: "drop it. now!"
my dog: "okay, i drop, i drop" :(
me: "good boy"
my dog: "i play tomorrow"
me: "yes"
my dog: "and then i take up"


me: "come on, sweetheart, we will repeat your tricks so you don't forget them"
my dog: "i get treats if i do?"
me: "yes"
my dog: "ok, i come"
me: "good boy. now sit."
my dog: "i sit. give treat"
me: "here, take it. shake hands"
my dog: "i shake hands. give treat"
me: "take. shake another"
my dog: "i shake another. give treat"
me: "there you go. what about ... sit pretty"
my dog: "i sit pretty. give treat"
me: "good boy! now down"
my dog: "i down. give treat"
me: "nice. lay down"
my dog: "i lay down. give treat"
me: "play dead"
my dog: "i no know this"
me: "of course you know"
my dog: "halp!"
me: "okay. here, your treat, so you remember how to do it. now roll over"
my dog: "HALP!"
me: "come oooon, roll over. you know how to do it!"
my dog: "i roll over. give treat"
me: "GOOD BOY! take it. now down"
my dog: "i down. give treat"
me: "sit"
my dog: "i sit. give treat"
me: "now wave. bye bye!"
my dog: "halp! this new. i no know still"
me: "like this. take your treat. now sit pretty"
my dog: "i si... aaaah, no, i no sit pretty, you no have treats anymore"


my dog: "aaa, you come!"
me: "yes, i came"
my dog: "do you buy someth... wait. this no my smell. YOU SMELL LIKE ANOTHER DOG!"
me: "yes, i met some dog and i gave him a pat"
my dog: "YOU SMELL LIKE ANOTHER DOG! "
me: "okay, so what? other people also pat you and i nev..."
my dog: "you cheat on me! you no love me anymore?" :(
me: "of course i lo..."
my dog: "i take this smell away"
me: "um ... how?"
my dog: "i smell, i lick. i smell, i lick. i smell, i lick. i smell, i lick. i smell, i lick. i smell, i li..."
me: "okay okay, enough, my clothes are wet now"
my dog: "I TAKE THE SMELL! I LICK!!!"



all dogs are great, but mine is absolutely 100% the greatest dog who ever dogged!

Shadows-In-Twilight Offline si

  • Global Moderator
  • Forenlichtgestalt
  • *****
  • Posts: 25889
  • ein blick - ein kuss und dann die ewigkeit
Antw:it's a dog's life
« Reply #2 on: August 20, 2016, 15:07:06 »
me: "come here, i need to brush your fur"
my dog: "you no brush me, i beautiful. my fur soft and clean" *escapes*
me: "ey, where are you going?"
my dog: "you no brush my ass. i hate. my ass beautiful. you no brush me"
me: "look what i have"
my dog: "TREATS! you brush me now!"


my dog: "where you go?"
me: "to the pet shop"
my dog: "i come"
me: "yes, you can come with me"
my dog: "i come"
me: "of course"
my dog: "i come"
me: "if you don't shut up, you're not coming"
my dog: "i shut up"
*in the store*
shop assistant: "oooooh, you grew so much since i saw you the last time. come here, i have something for you"
my dog: "hi. you give treats?"
shop assistant: "here. sit"
my dog: "i sit. give"
shop assistant: "take. you want more?"
my dog: "give! i sit. i please"
shop assistant: "take it. you're so beautiful"
my dog: "give more!"
shop assistant: "i don't have anymore, you ate"
my dog: "give more!"
me: "stop it, sweetheart. you're getting more than enough treats all the time, you know?"
*5 minutes later*
my dog: "what you buy?"
me: "poop bags so you can poop"
my dog: "i poop here"
me: "NO! you're definitely not doing it here"
my dog: "okay, no poop here"
*a minute later*
my dog: "what you buy again?"
me: "trea..."
my dog: "TREATS? FOR ME?!"
me: "yes, my fur love"
my: "that not enough. buy big. that small"
me: "nope, it's enough, you still have a lot at home"
my dog: "take this. this too. take this too. and this also. i like this as well. it very tasty"
me: "that's a cat food, you don't like that. leave it"
my dog: "i no care, i like"
me: "come on, stop it. let's go"
my dog: "but i liiiiiiike"
*2 minutes later at the pay desk*
my dog: "we go now. i tired of this shop"
me: "wait, i need to pay first"
my dog: "i no care. we go!"


my dog: "what you eat?"
me: "something you don't like"
my dog: "i like"
me: "no, you don't like a banana"
my dog: "i like. give"
me: "no"
my dog: "then i steal" *jumps after a banana*
me: "EY! you thief! now eat it!"
my dog: "what this? it taste yuck! i no like. you eat"
me: "you're an asshole"
my dog: "no. banana asshole"


my dog: "what you do?"
me: "i'm trying to play with you"
my dog: "you look stupid, but i love you"
*5 minutes later*
my dog: "i bring a toy. play"
me: "you look stupid, but i love you"
my dog: "i no stupid. i adorable"


my dog: "you go again"
me: "yes, but i'll be back fast"
my dog: "where you go?"
me: "i'm going to pick up our Zubair"
my dog: "i come"
me: "no, i will be bac..."
my dog: "I COME! i too pick Zubair"
me: "nope, you will wait right here. i'll be back in 10 minutes"
my dog: "okay. i count"
me: "good boy"
my dog: "one. ten. you back already. where Zubair?"
me: *sighs* :D


my dog: "what you eat?"
me: "a biscuit"
my dog: "give. i too"
me: "go eat your breakfast first"
my dog: "i no like dry food. i wait for raw dinner!"
me: "but my biscuit is also dry"
my dog: "i no care. i like. i only no like mine"


my dog: "i kiss you"
me: "awww, you're so sweet"
my dog: "but first i smash your eye with my nose"
me: "eum ... ouch?"
my dog: "you okay. now i kiss"


*coming home from a night shift*
my dog: "aaaaa, finally you come!"
me: "yes, i came home, to you"
my dog: "you gone for eternity. why you late?"
me: "i was working"
my dog: "why no stay with me?"
me: "sweetheart, i need to work so i can buy your food"
my dog: "okay. now we play"
me: "i'm sleepy. can we play lat..."
my dog: "WE PLAY NOW!"
me: "okay. but only for 5 minutes"
my dog: "6 minutes better"
me: "soooo, what do you want to play?"
my dog: "i bring a toy"
me: "aaaa, you brought a ball. i knew it!"
my dog: "you throw"
me: *tries to take the ball from his mouth*
my dog: "you no try take the ball. you only throw"
me: "but how can i throw it if i am not allowed to take it?"
my dog: "you no know how to play. i no play with you anymore"
me: "okay, then i'm going to sleep"
my dog: "no sleep. we play"
me: *sighs* :D


my dog: "wake!"
me: *sleeping*
my dog: "WAKE!"
me: "ouch! why did you punch my nose?"
my dog: "wake! you no give me food. you late"
me: "sorry, sweetheart, i fell asleep. you will get it in a minute"
my dog: "i hungry"
me: "i know, and i'm sorry. you will get now"
my dog: "a minute done"
me: "hold on a little bit more"
my dog: "A MINUTE DONE!"
me: "here, eat"
my dog: "finally. you late! i starve"
*3 minutes later*
me: "you ate already? so fast?"
my dog: "you no give food on time. you late. i hungry"
me: "but i just gave you a lot"
my dog: "you late. give more!"


*when my dog was a younger puppy*
my dog: "AAAAAA, YOU TAKE VACUUM CLEANER!"
me: "yes, i need to clean your fur, your fur is everywhere"
my dog: "RUUUUN FOR LIFE! i scared. i terrified. i hide"
me: "yes? and where will you hide?"
my dog: "BATH! i hide in a bath. you no come there!"
*my dog now*
my dog: "YAAAAAY, A VACUUM CLEANER! PLAY TIME!"



all dogs are great, but mine is absolutely 100% the greatest dog who ever dogged!

Shadows-In-Twilight Offline si

  • Global Moderator
  • Forenlichtgestalt
  • *****
  • Posts: 25889
  • ein blick - ein kuss und dann die ewigkeit
Antw:it's a dog's life
« Reply #3 on: August 20, 2016, 15:16:32 »
me: "where are you?"
my dog: "i here. what want?"
me: "come come"
my dog: "i come. what?"
me: "now sit there, i would like t... "
my dog: "aaa, no no, you no take a photo of me"
me: "i will ta..."
my dog: "i go now"
me: "ey, where are you going?"
my dog: "i hide. i no like camara"
me: "come on, you will get a treat"
my dog: "treat? I COME!"
me: "first pose and then you get"
my dog: "no. i no pose. you give treat, i go, i hide"
me: "no posing, no treats"
my dog: "i steal. now i run"
me: "come on sweetheart. please. just one photo!"
my dog: "i no come out. i no want. i kill your camara soon!"


my dog: "what this?"
me: "it's your new bed"
my dog: "for me"
me: "yes. for you"
my dog: "for me"
me: "yeah, for who else could it be"
my dog: "for me"
me: "do you like it?"
my dog: "it beautiful"
me: "isn't it? i like the way it looks as well"
my dog: "it soft. comfortable"
me: "yes! so very soft! and warm, for winter, so you don't feel cold"
my dog: "yes. it warm also"
me: "so, do you like it?"
my dog: "no. i no like"
me: "but why?"
my dog: "it stink. different. stink bad. no stink like me"
me: "ah, but it will stink like you soon"
my dog: "i no like. i go sleep on old bed. where?"
me: "you can't sleep on that anym..."
my dog: "I SLEEP ON OLD BED!"
*3 seconds later*
my dog: "aaaa, my old bed here. i sleep on old bed now"


my dog: "i come here. what you do?"
me: "i'm just cleaning, sweets"
my dog: "i lay down at your feet"
me: "oh come on, not at my feet, i cannot even move without flipping over you"
my dog: "no. i want here, i stay here"
me: "look, move over there, it's still ne..."
my dog: "i stay"
me: "it's literally 10 centimeters away from me"
my dog: "i no want there. it far"


me: "come here"
my dog: "come where?"
me: "to me, you silly"
my dog: "i come"
me: "good boy. come, sit next to me"
my dog: "i not allowed on couch"
me: "i allow you this time"
my dog: "ok ... no, i not allowed. i sit in your lap instead"
me: "oh my gooood, you huge heavy ass, sit next to me, not on me"
my dog: "i sit in your lap. no, i lay in your lap. i lay all over you"
me: "i cannot breathe, you're hea..."
my dog: "i kiss also. i kiss a lot!"
me: "okay okay okay, it's enough. my face is clean now, i guess"
my dog: "i no stay in your lap. you no comfortable"


my dog: "why you two hug without me?"
me: "again this question?"
my dog: "but again you do! i also love!"
my dog: "hug me"
my dog: "hug me"
my dog: "hug me"
my dog: "hug me. i too"


my dog: "GOOD MORNING! TAKE ME PEE!"
me: "wait sweetie, i need to wear my clothes"
my dog: "I NO CARE! TAKE ME PEE!"
me: "i said wait"
my dog: "TAKE ME PEE!"
my dog: "TAKE ME PEE!"
my dog: "TAKE ME PEE!"
my dog: "TAKE ME PEE!"
my dog: "TAKE ME PEE!"
me: "let's go"
my dog: "we go pee"
*outside*
my dog: "ah, it rain"
me: "yeap, again"
my dog: "i get wet"
me: "i will dry you with a towel when we come back up"
my dog: "then i can lay down in a puddle"
me: "don't you dare"
my dog: "i lay in a puddle"
me: "N..."
my dog: "i lay on my back also"
me: "you asshole! now you need a hair drier!"
my dog: "i no care, i happy!"
my dog: "i turn to side now"


*taking a walk*
my dog: "why we stop?"
me: "we need to cross the street, but the red light says we have to wait so we wait"
my dog: "i no want wait. come, we go!"
me: "you, mister, are going to keep sitting right here, right now. and no moving!"
my dog: "but whyyyyyy?"
me: "there are cars, we can die"
my dog: "i no die. you no die. we run"
me: "come on, it turned green"
my dog: "i run now. i no run i die"
me: "no, now the cars are waiting and we can go slow"
my dog: "NO! WE RUN! WE NO DIE NOW!"
me: "slow down, i can't go so fast"
my dog: "it near, look"
me: "that's why you don't have to run when the cars are waiting"
my dog: "we arrive other side"
me: "yes, we arrived, and next time ..."
my dog: "i save your life now. give treats"
me: *sighs*


my dog: "i come here"
my boyfriend: "leave the bedroom, you're not allowed here"
my dog: "no, i sit off the carpet, look"
my boyfriend: "come on, leave"
my dog: "i good. i no move. i sit"
my boyfriend: "ey, doggy? get out"
my dog: "but i good. i sit and kiss. i no disturb you"
my boyfriend: "i said something to you. go"
my dog: "i lay here. i want be with you two"
me: "come on sweetheart. leave the bedroom, you cannot be here"
my dog: "i sad. but i go now"
me: "good boy"
*10 seconds later*
my dog: "i come back"
my boyfriend: "again you're here?"
my dog: "i kiss my Klavdija. i no kiss you, i not allowed. i go now"


my dog: "why you vacuum clean?"
me: "because there's a lot of your hair laying around and it looks dirty"
my dog: "i no dirty"
me: "i didn't say you are dirty, i just said ..."
my dog: "I NO DIRTY!"
me: "the floor is dirty, not you, sweetheart"
my dog: "good. i said i no dirty, i no dirty. now i play"
me: "you cannot play now, i'm vacuum cleaning. wait"
my dog: "I PLAY! with vacuum cleaner tube"
me: "oooooh, leave it, you're disturbing me, this is not a toy"
my dog: "i bite tube"
me: "i said stop it. it's not meant for playing nor biting"
my dog: "i no care. i still play"
me: "enough! go to your place and wait"
my dog: "okay, i go"
me: "good boy"
my dog: "i no go my place. i go and lay down here. on carpet"
me: "EEEEY, i'm vacuum cleaning this part still. move to your place, i said!"
my dog: "i move. i move ... here"
me: "but i just cleaned it"
my dog: "i no care. you clean again"
me: "i will vacuum clean you too!"
my dog: "you no touch my hair with vacuum cleaner!"
me: "then move"
my dog: "i move, fine. but i bite pipe now!"
me: *sighs*


me: "come on, here's your food"
my dog: "finally! i starve"
me: "haha, it's not like you haven't gotten anything at all today"
my dog: "i almost die"
me: "eat now"
my dog: "this smell different"
me: "it smells like usually"
my dog: "wait. this no my bowl. where my bowl?"
me: "this is your new bowl"
my dog: "why new? i want old"
me: "nope, the old one is too small"
my dog: "i no care too small. i want old!"
me: "come on sweetheart, don't be an asshole and eat"
my dog: "you an asshole! I WANT OLD!"
me: "well you're not getting your old one back. eat or stay hungry"
my dog: "i no like this food also"
me: "oh my god, you picky dog! eat"
my dog: "I NO LIKE! i get something else, soon or late"
me: "you will not get anything until you finish this"
my dog: "I GET!"



all dogs are great, but mine is absolutely 100% the greatest dog who ever dogged!

Shadows-In-Twilight Offline si

  • Global Moderator
  • Forenlichtgestalt
  • *****
  • Posts: 25889
  • ein blick - ein kuss und dann die ewigkeit
Antw:it's a dog's life
« Reply #4 on: August 20, 2016, 15:20:42 »
me: "move, sweetheart, i need to clean your bed"
my dog: "why you clean my bed?"
me: "it's full of your hair and it looks dirty"
my dog: "YOU NO CLEAN MY HAIR, I NO DIRTY!"
me: "i will clean your bed, i said, not you"
my dog: "but why?"
me: "come on, move, you will see why"
my dog: "i no move"
me: "as you wish. then i will drag you from it"
my dog: "you no drag. i no vacuum cleaner"
me: "i w..."
my dog: "you no vacuum clean my bed"
me: "MOVE!"
my dog: "ok. i tell my other human you no let me lazy in my bed"
me: "go ahead, tell him"
*3 seconds later*
my dog: "my human. i come"
my dog: "my human. I HERE!"
my dog: "LISTEN!"
my dog: "fine, i sit in front tv. now you listen"
my boyfriend: "EEEEEEY! MOVE"
my dog: "she no let me lazy in my bed. she vacuum clean my bed"
my boyfriend: "oh be quiet"
my dog: "SHE NO LET ME!"
my boyfriend: "stop screaming!"
my dog: "SHE DRAG OUT!"
me and my boyfriend: "hahahaha"  :D


my dog: "you again take my photos"
me: "yes, hold on a little bit, please"
my dog: "give treat"
me: "here, a treat for you because you are a good boy"
my dog: "i good boy"
*10 seconds later*
my dog: "enough. i no want photo anymore"
me: "where are you going?"
my dog: "i go home. i no want be here"
me: "you mister, are going to lay back down right there, right now"
my dog: "I NO WANT ANYMORE! NO PHOTO! ENOUGH PHOTO!"
me: "quit screaming"
my dog: "i lay down"
me: "good boy"
my dog: "I NO WANT! ENOUGH! NO CAMARA! I NO POSE! I HATE! STOP! I NO WANT ANYMORE!"
*a moment of silence*
my dog: "I NO POSE! THERE A BIRD! I WANT CHASE! I NO POSE YOUR CAMARA! YOUR CAMARA BORING! GIVE TREAT!"
me: *sighs*


me: "come on, we need to shower you"
my dog: "oh no, you no shower me"
me: "i must! look at yourself, you're a pig, not a dog!"
my dog: "i no dirty"
me: "get into the bath and be quiet"
my dog: "i get in. i sit. no, i lay down"
me: "good boy! now let's shower. i will open the water now"
my dog: "you no shower me. i drink. i thirsty"
me: "okay, drink. now be good and let me wash you quickly"
*20 seconds later*
my dog: "enough. i no shower anymore"
me: "ey, don't move, you will fall"
my dog: "i no shower. i go"
me: "you're still dirty, don't move"
my dog: "i no dirty anymore. i never dirty. i go now"
me: *sighs*


my dog: "quick! pee!"
me: "okay, let's go pee then"
my dog: "i pee"
me: "yes, we're going"
my dog: "i need pee"
me: "shut up, it's late"
my dog: "BUT I NEED PEE!"
me: "we are going, just let me lock. now be quiet, you will wake everyone up"
*elevator coming up before calling*
my dog: "who in elevator?"
me: "i don't know"
my dog: "i need see who is"
*my boyfriend walks out of the elevator*
my dog: "IT'S MY HUMAN!!!!"
my boyfriend: "hi, Arty Farty"
my dog: "MY HUMAN! I HAPPY! HI! HI! HI! HIIIIIIII! LOOK, I JUMP! I HERE, I HAPPY YOU COME!!!"
me: "okay sweetheart, now stop shouting, and let's go pee"
my dog: "i no pee, my other human home now"
me: "but you had a bad pee, or?"
my dog: "i no pee! i stay here with human"
me: "don't make me mad. get your ass into the elevator"
my dog: "BUT MY HUMAN ..."
me: "ELEVATOR!"
my dog: "okay"
*in the elevator*
my dog: "we go back up now! my other human home. i want go back up!"
me: "you need to pee"
my dog: "no pee. just go up, my human home"
me: *sighs*


my dog: "i find stick!"
me: "again?"
my dog: "i find again"
me: "good boy"
my dog: "i good boy"
me: "yes, you are"
my dog: "i good boy"
me: "of course"
my dog: "i good"
me: "shut up" :D
my dog: "i shut up"
*5 seconds later*
my dog: "i love stick"
me: "i know that"
my dog: "i run with stick"
me: "go, run"
my dog: "aaaaaa, stick fall from mouth"
me: "how could it possibly stay in your mouth? it's big and thick and heavy" :D
my dog: "you no laugh me. i pick up again"
me: "give me"
my dog: "give you stick? i no give you stick"
me: "why not?
my dog: "you want throw stick. you no throw stick"
me: "but why not? it will be fun for you"
my dog: "i no find then. when i find, i must bring back, but i no feel"
me: "okay, let's go back inside now"
my dog: "i take stick"
me: "fine, but you will leave it at the door"
*20 seconds later*
my dog: "we arrive the door"
me: "okay, now drop your stick and leave it here"
my dog: "i drop. i leave here. bye, stick"
me: "good boy. come in"
my dog: "WAIT! my stick! i take now"


me: "come on, let's go pee and then sleep"
my dog: "i go pee"
me: "yes, come on"
my dog: "i take my bone"
me: "no, you cannot ta... "
my dog: "i take my bone"
me: "leave it here"
my dog: "I TAKE BONE TOO!!!"
me: "NO! we will come back, leave it here!"
my dog: "but my bone gone"
me: "no, it will wait for you"
my dog: "you promase?"
me: "i promise. come"
my dog: "i take my bone"
me: "GO!"
*in the elevator*
my dog: "I WANT BONE!"
me: "don't scream, it's a middle of the night"
my dog: "BOOOONEEE!"
*in the elevator, going back up*
my dog: "quick elevator, my bone wait"
*back in the apartment*
my dog: "my bone! i take you pee morning! now i gnaw you! i love bone!"


my dog: "QUICK! WAKE!"
me: "what is it, sweety?"
my dog: "QUICK! PEE!"
me: "ooooh, come on, you peed half an hour ago, let me sleep!"
my dog: "POOP! I POOP! QUICK! I PEE!"
me: "okay okay, don't scream. let's go"
*outside*
me: "here, pee now"
my dog: "i smell. i smell here too. wait, i smell there also"
me: "you wanted to pee, now pee"
my dog: "STICK! I FIND STICK!"
me: "no sticks now. pee, and let's go back in, i'm cold"
my dog: "i no have pee. i want play with stick"
me: "excuse me? i came all the way down here in my pajamas for you to play with a stick?"
my dog: "i good boy. i do puppy eyes. now i play"
me: "nope. we're going back up"
my dog: "i take stick with me"
me: "leave it here"
my dog: "but i play!"
me: "you have tons of toys and balls and everything! you will play with a stick when we go for a walk!"
my dog: "but i want stick!"
me: "listen. now it's sleeping time, no sticks, okay?"
my dog: "i sad"
*on the way back up*
my dog: "STICK! I WANT STICK! I PLAY STICK! I POOP!"


my dog: "what you do?"
me: "i'm making a sandwich"
my dog: "for me"
me: "nope, for me"
my dog: "for me"
me: "no, it's not for you"
my dog: "FOR ME!"
me: "here, take a piece of salami"
my dog: "i love salami"
me: "i know. now go, it's enough"
my dog: "sandwich. give"
me: "no, this sandwich is mine"
my dog: "i want"
me: "i don't care, this is mine"
my dog: "i no care it yours. i want!"
me: "hahaha, you're not getting this"
my dog: "i get"
me: "no"
my dog: "i steal again. i steal from counter"


my dog: "what you make?"
me: "food"
my dog: "for me"
me: "no, you will eat lat..."
my dog: "for me"
me: "no, not for you, you will eat later"
my dog: "i no eat later, i eat now. for me!"
me: "no, sweety, fried meat is not good for you, you will get your food"
my dog: "i no care no good for me, i hungry. for me"
*10 minutes later, eating*
my dog: "i come"
me: "so what?"
my dog: "i steal from plate"
me: "EY! get your nose out of my plate NOW!"
my dog: "i say for me but you no listen"


my dog: "what you eat?"
me: "sandwich"
my dog: "i too sandwich"
me: "no, you just ate"
my dog: "i no eat. i too sandwich"
me: "then what have you done to that big peace of beef and the bone?"
my dog: "beef in my belly. bone here"
me: "so?"
my dog: "i too sandwich"
me: "no. stop it"
my dog: "i give paw, you give sandwich"
me: "stop it"
my dog: "okay. i gnaw my bone"
me: "don't gnaw it on the carpet, the small pieces will cut my f..."
my dog: "i gnaw where i want because i fabulous"
me: "oh really?"
my dog: "yes. i want gnaw on couch, i gnaw on couch"
me: "hahahaha"
my dog: "you no laugh me. i leave my bone on couch now. you no touch it!"



all dogs are great, but mine is absolutely 100% the greatest dog who ever dogged!

Shadows-In-Twilight Offline si

  • Global Moderator
  • Forenlichtgestalt
  • *****
  • Posts: 25889
  • ein blick - ein kuss und dann die ewigkeit
Antw:it's a dog's life
« Reply #5 on: August 20, 2016, 15:27:27 »
my dog: "why you cry?"
me: "because of Meda"
my dog: "what wrong with my Meda?"
me: "maybe she is very sick"
my dog: "she be fine, you see. no cry"
me: "i can't stop"
my dog: "no cry, i love. i kiss"
my dog: "i say no cry"
my dog: "i kiss"
my dog: "i kiss again"
my dog: "you salty"
my dog: "i say no cry. she be fine. i kiss"


(Meda is our family dog. at that time she had some tumors in her body, but they are, thanks god, gone)


my dog: "what you ... oooooh, you eat salami! i too"
me: "look, i will give you one piece if you promise to leave me alone then"
my dog: "okay, i let you eat. now give"
me: "take it. and no begging anymore"
my dog: "i no begging anym... i smell cheese. i too cheese"
me: "ey! i said no begging anymore!"
my dog: "okay, i steal. now i run"
me: "ey, come back here, you sneaky little thief"
my dog: "i no come. i eat your cheese now!"


my dog: "take me pee"
me: "let's go"
my dog: "i have pee"
me: "we're going"
my dog: "i need pee"
me: "YES!"
my dog: "PEE!"
me: "be quiet"
my dog: "i qui... ooooh, my other human also take me pee. you both take me pee, i so happy"
me: "no, he is just coming down with us, but he's ..."
my dog: "he take me pee too"
me: "no sweetheart, he's going to work"
my dog: "HE TAKE ME PEE TOO"
my boyfriend: "okay, bye"
my dog: "where go?!"
me: "to work"
my dog: "eeey, my human, where go? WAIT! I TOO"
me: "no, you cannot go. pee!"
my dog: "no pee, i go too. WAIT! I TOO!"
my boyfriend: *from far* "don't shout"
my dog: "BUT I COME TOO!"
me: "come on, he will come back. now pee"
my dog: "but i sad"
me: "don't be sad. go pee, we should go back to sleep"
my dog: "i pee"
me: "good boy. now come"
my dog: "come where? my other human go, i go too, i go with my human"
me: "but i am also your human"
my dog: "yas. but you home, he not. i go find"
me: "he will come b..."
my dog: "I GO FIND!"


my dog: "what that?"
me: "it's a food"
my dog: "for me"
me: "no, it's not healthy for you"
my dog: "give"
me: "no"
my dog: "GIVE!"
me: *ignoring the begging* " jingle bells, jingle bells ..."
my dog: "no chinkul bells, food"


my dog: "what you do?"
me: "i'm wearing my socks"
my dog: "why?"
me: "i feel cold, that's why"
my dog: "i feel play"
me: "then play"
my dog: "i play with socks. you no wear"
me: "nope, i we..."
my dog: "i play with socks"
me: "eeeey, leave it, i'feel cold!"
my dog: "i take socks"
me: "give it back, you little bastard!"
my dog: "i escape, i no give back"
me: "come back here, give me back my socks"
my dog: "i play with socks. i lick socks also"
me: "okay, i'm coming to get them myself"
my dog: "you no take from me. i escape"
me: "give me"
my dog: "noooo, i pla... you no take from me. YOU NO TAKE FROM ME!"
me: "drop it"
my dog: "but i play"
me: "DROP IT!"
my dog: "okay, i drop. now i sad"
me: "good boy"
my dog: "you no wear socks. i make wet"
me: "i will take another"
my dog: "i steal another too"


my boyfriend leaving for work in the morning
my dog: "i come"
me: "stay here"
my dog: "i run through door, i escape"
me: "come back, you silly"
my dog: "i come too. i go with my human"
me: "you cannot. he will come back"
my dog: "i go too! EEEY, OPEN ELEVATOR DOOR. WAIT FOR ME! I COME TOO!"
me: "come back in NOW!"
my dog: "I COME TOO! MY HUMAN, OPEN ELEVATOR DOOR. I PLEASE!"
me: "come on sweetheart, you cannot go with him. come back inside"
my dog: "i come. i sad"
me: "don't be sad. he will be back in the evening"
my dog: "I GO TOO! OPEN!"


changing his dry food from Bosch to Taste of the Wild
my dog: "what this?"
me: "it's a food"
my dog: "for me"
me: "it's a dry food"
my dog: "no for me. i no like"
me: "but this one is different"
my dog: "i no care different. dry food same dry food. i no like"
me: "but you will like these, i know you will"
my dog: "i no care you kno... oooooh, this smell good"
me: "see? told you!"
my dog: "i try"
my dog: "IT TASTY! I LIKE! IT GOOD!"
my dog: "i no no like anymore. this good. it so tasty!"
me: "hihi, i knew you will like it"
*1 minute later*
my dog: "i eat dry food. bowl empty"
me: "so fast? good boy!"
my dog: "yas. give more"
me: "no, it's enough. you will get again tomor..."
my dog: "GIVE MORE!"
me: "tomorrow, sweetheart"
*2 minutes later*
my dog: "I FIND DRY FOOD BAG!"
me: "leave it, it's opened"
my dog: "i know open. i put my head in bag"
me: "WHAT are you doing?"
my dog: "i eat more. you no give, i take!"
me: "get out of your food now!"
my dog: "it my food, it not your food. i eat now"


my dog: "what you eat?"
me: "ice-cream, sweetheart"
my dog: "give. i too"
me: "no, you cannot. it's full of choc..."
my dog: "i too"
me: "no"
my dog: "yas. i to... stick!"
me: "yes, my ice-cream was on a stick"
my dog: "STICK!"
my dog: "STICK!"
my dog: "STICK!"
my dog: "STICK!"
me: "STOP!"
my dog: "give stick"
me: "no"
my dog: "i play"
me: "you cannot, it's not for playing"
my dog: "it in your mouth. why?"
me: "because i was eating ice-cream"
my dog: "give. i play"
me: "no, i will throw it to the gar..."
my dog: "okay, i steal from mouth"
me: "EY! you bad boy!"
my dog: "i good boy. i play now"
my dog: "stick, i love!"
my dog: "stick, i kiss!"
my dog: "human, i look your eyes. i have stick"
me: "you little thief"
my dog: "i no care little thief. i play. i look your eyes, i play"


my dog: "my human, i need pee"
me: "okay, i will just wear my jacket and socks, and we go"
my dog: "i no care your jacket and socks. i need pee. we go now"
me: "sweetheart, it's cold outside"
my dog: "i no care. i no wear jacket i go. why you wear?"
me: "you are a dog. you have fur to keep you warm, and i don't"
my dog: "wear quick"
me: "okay, let's go"
*outside*
my dog: "oooooooh, again white fluffy rain"
me: "you call it snow"
my dog: "snow"
me: "yes. now go pee"
my dog: "i p... OOOOOOOOH, IT COLD! IT SOFT! IT JUMP! I TOO JUMP!"
me: "hehe, i knew you will love it"
my dog: "I RUN! I RUN FAST! I PLAY! I LAY DOWN! I RUN AGAIN!"
*10 minutes later*
my dog: "I HAPPY! I RUN FAST! I LAY DOWN! I LICK! WHERE GONE I LICK? I RUN FAST! I JUMP! I TAKE YOUR LEG! I RUN!"
me: "ahahahahah, sweets, i thought you had pee"
my dog: "pee? yas, i forget pee. now i pee"


my dog: "quick! wake"
me: "what is it again?"
my dog: "i need poop. bad poop"
me: "okay, i will just wear my jacket and let's run"
my dog: "bad poop. quick"
me: "i'm done. come"
my dog: "i need poop. fast"
me: "we're going, don't shout"
*in the elevator, going down*
my dog: "elevator, hurry, i poop here"
me: "DON'T you even think about it"
my dog: "elevator, quick"
my dog: "open door, open. OPEN! i jump on the do... MY HUMAN!!!!!"
my boyfriend: "hi, Arty Farty"
my dog: "MY HUMAN COME! HI MY HUMAN! I LOVE!!! I KISS! WAIT, I GO POOP!"
me: "come on, hurry, and then you can go back"
*outside*
my dog: "i run, fast. i need poop, i need go back, my human home"
me: "don't pull that much, you crazy"
my dog: "silence. i poop now"
my dog: "i done, we go back"
me: "wait, i need to clean aft..."
my dog: "no clean. I SAY NO CLEAN! WE GO UP!"
me: "EY! BEHAVE! we will take this to the garbage bo..."
my dog: "you take, i no. i go back, my human home!
me: "come, you little bastard"
my dog: "fast! we go in fast"
my dog: "where my human?"
me: "he's already in the apartment, waiting for us"
my dog: "ok. open door elevator"
*in the elevator*
my dog: "ELEVATOOOOOR. QUICK! MY HUMAN WAIT!"
me: "would you stop shouting?"
my dog: "I NO STOP SHOUTING! ELEVAT... aaaa, we arrive. open door"
my dog: "i run now. my human wait"
my dog: "MY HUMAN! I TOO HOME! I TOO COME! I SO HAPPY! I TAKE TOY! I RUN WITH TOY! I GIVE TOY, YOU TAKE TOY, WE PLAY! YOU NO TAKE, I RUN!"
my dog: "I TAKE ANOTHER! YOU NO TAKE TOY. YOU NO TAKE FROM ME. WE PLAY. YOU NO TAKE. I RUN HERE. I RUN THERE!"



all dogs are great, but mine is absolutely 100% the greatest dog who ever dogged!

Shadows-In-Twilight Offline si

  • Global Moderator
  • Forenlichtgestalt
  • *****
  • Posts: 25889
  • ein blick - ein kuss und dann die ewigkeit
Antw:it's a dog's life
« Reply #6 on: August 20, 2016, 15:42:25 »
my dog: "wake. i have poop"
me: "oh my god, can i sleep for an hour without you having to go to poop or pee"
my dog: "no talk. take out, i need poop"
*coming back up*
my dog: "what you do?"
me: "i'm going back to sleep, i worked during the night"
my dog: "no sleep. i have pee"
me: "WHAT?"
my dog: "pee"
my dog: "BUT WE WERE JUST OUTSIDE FOR YOUR POOP, WHY THE HELL YOU DIDN'T PEE AS WELL?"
my dog: "but i forget. i smell snow, i no have time pee. we go pee now. i please"
me: "okay okay, let's go pee then"
*coming back up*
me: "can i sleep now?"
my dog: "yas"
me: "thank you"
*5 minutes later*
my dog: "where you? what you do?"
me: "i'm trying to sleep, please, go away"
my dog: "i no go. you no sleep. we play"
me: *sighs*


my dog: "you buy chips morning"
me: "yes, i bought chips in the morning, so what?"
my dog: "give"
me: "no, you cannot eat that"
my dog: "i want"
me: "later you will get one piece, no..."
my dog: "NO LATER! NO ONE PIECE! NOW! ALL!"
me: "ha ha ha, no way"
my dog: "yas way. look! i take from table"
me: "don't you dare"
my dog: "i push chips"
me: "leave it!"
my dog: "chips fall down"
me: "EY! LEA..."
my dog: "ooooooh, it open. chips out. i eat!"
me: "stop! leave it"
my dog: "you no take from me! YOU NO TAKE FROM ME!"
my dog: "i take. i take many. i look your eyes! i take. i run! i eat!"
my dog: "i win!"


my dog: "aaaa, you come home"
me: "yes, i came home"
my dog: "finally. i so happy!"
me: "come oooon, let me breathe. i also need to take my shoes off"
my dog: "i no care your shoes. what you buy for me?"
me: "hahaha, look at that wishful thinking"
my dog: "why you laugh? you no laugh! what you buy for me?"
me: "here. a bone. with a lot of meat!"
my dog: "booooooone!!! i so happy! give! QUICK! GIVE!"
me: "take it. and you will not eat it on the carpet!"
my dog: "i eat where i want. i eat on carpet"
me: "no, go eat under the table"
my dog: "you no take my bone from me. EY! GIVE BACK!"
me: "under the table"
my dog: "okay, under the table"
my dog: "you no see me now, i take bone back to carpet"
me: "WHERE are you going with that bone?"
my dog: "carpet. i eat on carpet"
my dog: "YOU NO TAKE FROM ME!"
me: "under the table, i said!"
my dog: "i bring back when you no see me!"
me: "you will no..."
my dog: "bone, i take you back on carpet now"
me: "EY!"
my dog: "okay, okay, i go back under table"
me: "good boy"
my dog: "you no see me. i take back to carpet"
me: "I SAID UNDER THE TABLE! DON'T MAKE ME MAD!"
my dog: "okay, under table. i so sad"
my dog: "what that?"
my dog: "what that?"
my dog: "show. what th... TOY! FOR ME!"
me: "yes, it's a new toy"
my dog: "for me"
me: "for you"
my dog: "for me"
me: "shut up"
my dog: "bone, look, i get new toy"
me: "what are you doing?"
my dog: "i bring bone see new toy"
me: "what did i say about the bone and the carpet?"
my dog: "BUT IT NEED SEE TOY!"
my dog: "bone, look, i get new toy. i so happy!"
my dog: "i eat you now"


my dog: "what this?"
me: "it's a basket"
my dog: "for me"
me: "no, for your..."
my dog: "for me"
me: "no, for your toys"
my dog: "why my toys? i no give toys basket, toys mine"
me: "of course, toys are yours, we..."
my dog: "why basket?"
me: "to keep them in there when you don't play"
my dog: "but i play"
me: "yes, of course. but not with all of them at the same time"
my dog: "I PLAY!!! I PLAY NOW! ALL TOYS OUT!"
my dog: "I TAKE TOYS OUT! ALL TOYS OUT! I PLAY NOW!"
my dog: "YOU NO TAKE FROM ME! I PLAY! I NO CARE BASKET! PLAY!"


on the way to his sister, in the back of the car
my dog: "what that on seat?"
my dog: "oooooh, it ball! give!"
me: "i can't, i'm driving, sweetheart"
my dog: "i no care you drive, you give ball"
me: "no, i cannot. we will die if i do that"
my dog: "we no die, we play. GIVE BALL!"
me: "no way! also, you will get it on wednesday, it's a your birthday gift!"
my dog: "i no care wednesday, give ball now!"
my dog: "GIVE BALL!"
my dog: "I WANT BALL!"
my dog: "WE PLAY!"
*2 minutes of silence*
my dog: "BAAAAAAAALL!"
my dog: "BAAAAAAAALL!"
my dog: "look, a dog outside"
my dog: "BAAAAAAAALL!"
my dog: "BAAAAAAAALL!"
like this, all the way from our home to his sister
in the evening when we arrived home
my dog: "where you take ball?"
me: "upstairs"
my dog: "for me!"
me: "yes, but you cannot have it today"
my dog: "it mine, i can"
me: "no. i will leave it here, on the table, don't touch it, okay? come on, out"
my dog: "okay"
*5 seconds later*
my dog: "you gone, you no see me. i take ball. i play"


me, watching ski jumps
my dog: "what you do?"
me: "i'm watching tv"
my dog: "i halp. i too"
me: "help what?"
my dog: "i too watch tv"
me: "ok, just be good"
my dog: "when i no good? i always good"
my dog: "i climb couch"
my dog: "i too watch tv"
my dog: "what this? my human, look, LOOK! bird!"
me: "it's not a bird, it's a human"
my dog: "human bird!"
my dog: "i watch tv"
me: "shut up"
my dog: "i shut up"
*10 seconds later*
my dog: "we cuddle now"
me: "EEEEEH? cuddle? really?"
my dog: "cuddle. we cuddle now! i love"
me: "okay, come closer. lay over here"
my dog: "WE CUDDLE! I SO HAPPY!"
my dog: "pat here. now pat back. pat head. i turn now. you give belly rub. big belly rub! i want!"
me: "here, your belly rub. and stop turning so much"
my dog: "i want turn, i turn. you no stop turn. i turn to side now. you pat ass. i turn again, belly ru... AAAAAAAA"
my dog: "shit. i fall down couch"
me: ooooh, are you okay?"
my dog: "i okay. i climb couch, we cuddle again. i turn to side. you pat head. i turn"
me: "STOP! you will fall again!"
my dog: "I TURN! belly rub!"
my dog: "enough. i sleep now"
me: "okay, go to sleep then"
my dog: "i no go. i sleep on you"


my dog: "what you eat?"
me: "my dinner"
my dog: "what dinner?"
me: "meat"
my dog: "i too meat"
me: "no"
my dog: "yas"
me: "no, you have your dinner there, under the table"
my dog: "i no have dinner. i too meat"
me: "i brought a fresh bone full of meat from the shop just for you, and now it's there, forgotten"
my dog: "i no care you bring for me. i want what you eat"
me: "i also don't care what you want. your dinner is there"
my dog: "i shake hands. i please"
me: "nope, not going to work"
my dog: "i sit another side. look. i get now"


my dog: "where you go?"
me: "to toilet"
me: "ey, where are YOU going?"
my dog: "i come"
me: "no"
my dog: "yas. i too. i lay here, i look you"
me: " get out. i will be there in a minute"
my dog: "i no get out, you leave me! i here"
me: "have i ever left you?"
my dog: "no, but you leave now"
me: "get out"
my dog: "okay, i go. i sad now"
my dog (from behind the closed door): "COOOOME!!!!"
my dog: "WHY YOU LEAVE ME?"
my dog: "I SAD!"
me, coming out of the toilet
my dog: "ah, you come back! i so happy! i think you never come"
me: "eeeeeh ... i was litteraly gone for a minute"
my dog: "i no care gone minute. you gone forever"


my dog: "why sister leave?"
me: "because she needs to go to doctor"
my dog: "i no care doctor! SHE COME BACK NOW!"
me: "no, she cannot"
my dog: "she can, she will. tell she come back, we play ball"
me: "not today, sweety"
my dog: "BUT SHE COME SEE ME!"
me: "yes, she came to see you as well"
my dog: "SHE COME SEE ME, SHE STAY 3 SECOND AND GO! WHY?!"
me: "but she has a doctor"
my dog: "i no care doctor. she come back, we play ball now!"
my dog: "I ANGRY! SHE GO BUT NO PLAY BALL!"
me: "shut up, she will come some other day"
my dog: "i no care other day! she come now!"


my dog: "what you do?"
me: "i'm blowing my nose"
my dog: "why?"
me: "because i caught a cold"
my dog: "i take blow nose"
my dog: "i eat. give!"
me: "WHAT will you eat?"
my dog: "i eat blow nose. give"
me: "haha, you silly, you cannot eat that"
my dog: "i no care, i can. give!"
me: "but i can't, my nose is on my face"
my dog: "i say i no care. give blow nose"
me: "EEEY! you almost broke my nose"
my dog: "but i take away blow nose!"
me: "come on, you cannot"
my dog: "i sad now"
me: "why?"
my dog: "i no can take blow nose"
my dog: "i kiss blow nose then"



« Last Edit: August 20, 2016, 15:48:12 by Shadows-In-Twilight »
all dogs are great, but mine is absolutely 100% the greatest dog who ever dogged!

Shadows-In-Twilight Offline si

  • Global Moderator
  • Forenlichtgestalt
  • *****
  • Posts: 25889
  • ein blick - ein kuss und dann die ewigkeit
Antw:it's a dog's life
« Reply #7 on: August 20, 2016, 15:46:14 »
my dog and i stayed at my parents' place over the night because i came from doctors really late the night before
morning, 7am
my dog: "what you do?"
me: "i'm eating my breakfast"
my dog: "why?"
me: "i'm hungry"
my dog: "why?"
me: "i'm hungry?"
my dog: "why you eat? we go home"
me: "we will go sweetheart, but i need to go back to doctor"
my dog: "i no care doctor. we go home now"
me: "no"
my dog: "YAS! WE GO HOME! I THROW CAMARA BAG FLOOR! WE GO HOME NOW!"


later, after i came from doctor, i fell asleep on the couch
my dog: "i come. what you do?"
my dog: "my human, what you do? i come"
my dog: "wait, i come couch"
my dog: "left paw couch. right paw floor. it comfortable"
my dog: "my human, i here"
my dog: "HUMAN! WAKE! WE GO HOME! WE GO HOME NOW!"
my dog: "WAAAAAAKE! HOOOOOOOOME!"
me: "eeeey, stop screaming at my face"
my dog: "but you no wake. we go home"
me: "we will go soon, wait"
my dog: "I NO WAIT! WE GO HOME NOW!!"
my dog: "WE GO HOME!"
my dog: "HOOOOOOOOOOOME!"


my dog: "what you eat?"
me: "something you don't like"
my dog: "i like. what you eat?"
me: "how can you like it if you don't know what it is?"
my dog: "WHAT YOU EAT?!"
me: "banana"
my dog: "i too banana. give"
me: "you don't like it"
my dog: "i like"
me: "no, you never eat it"
my dog: "I EAT! GIVE!"
me: "no"
my dog: "you no give i steal"
me: "EY!"
my dog: "i steal from hand"
my dog: "yuck. what this?"
me: "it's a freaking banana. you stole it, now eat it"
my dog: "i no eat this. you eat. i no like"


my dog: "what this?"
me: "my shampoo"
my dog: "for me"
me: "no"
my dog: "for me"
me: "i said no"
my dog: "i no care you say no. i say for me shampoo for me"
me: "haha. no way. you cannot have it"
my dog: "i want. give. GIVE!"
me: "NO!"
my dog: "i climb your lap. i have now"
me: "sweetheart, this is not for dogs"
my dog: "i no care no for dogs. give! i want!"
me: "i cannot"
my dog: "give. i smell"
me: "okay, smell it"
my dog: "it smell nice. i lick. give, i eat"
me: "it's not for eating"
my dog: i give paw. give shampoo"


my dog: "what you do?"
me: "i'm eating"
my dog: "aaa ... i sit here"
me: "why?"
my dog: "i look at you"
me: "okay"
*10 seconds later*
my dog: "i still look at you"
*10 seconds later*
my dog: "i here"
my dog: "i kiss hand"
me: "what do you want?"
my dog: "i love"
me: "only that?"
my dog: "yas. only that"
*10 seconds later*
my dog: "you eat"
me: "yes, i'm eating"
*10 seconds later*
my dog: "I TOO EAT!"
me: "i knew you wanted something!"
my dog: "GIVE!"
me: "here, take"
my dog: "mmm, it tasty. what it?"
me: "paprika"
my dog: "babrika"
me: "paprika, you silly"
my dog: "babrika tasty"
my dog: "i like"
me: "you liked it when you were small already"
my dog: "i no small. i big"
me: "yes, now you're big, but in the past you were small"
my dog: "I NO SMALL! I NEVER SMALL! I BIG!"
my dog: "GIVE BABRIKA!"


my dog: "where you go?"
me: "to work"
my dog: "i come"
me: "no sweetheart, you cannot"
my dog: "i come"
me: "no"
my dog: "i too"
me: "i said you cannot"
my dog: "i follow. i follow, i come"
me: "shit, move, i forgot som... AAAAAA"
my dog: "my human! MY HUMAN! what you do? why you floor?"
me: "i fell, you silly doggy"
my dog: "why fall?"
me: "because you were sticking behind my ass, that's why"
my dog: "i no stick behind ass"
my dog: "where go?"
me: "to work"
my dog: "i come"


my dog: "what you do?"
my dog: "aaa, you open drawer"
my dog: "what take out? what this?"
me: "it's a treat f..."
my dog: "FOR ME!"
me: "yes, for you"
my dog: "FOR ME!"
me: "yes, but you hav..."
my dog: "FOR ME!"
me: "no, if you don't shut up, not for you"
my dog: "i shut up. give"
me: "you need to do a few things to earn it, okay?"
my dog: "i do i earn. give"
me: "not that easy, boy. sit"
my dog: "i sit"
me: "good boy. place"
my dog: "i place. i good boy. give"
me: "sit back"
my dog: "again sit?"
me: "you want the treat or not?"
my dog: "i sit"
my dog: "i shake hands. i kiss also"
me: "good boy. say please"
my dog: "i please, i sit pretty. give"
me: "good boy. now high five and then ten"
my dog: "high five. ten also. giiiiiiiiive!!! i no do anymore. give!"
me: "hold on a little bit more. lay down"
my dog: "do this, do that. you no want give treat, i no do"
me: "i will give you your treat after we're done"
my dog: "promase? i lay down"
me: "i promise. now play dead"
my dog: "i no play dead. i alive. i no dead. i no play dead"
me: "a, so you don't want your treat anymore"
my dog: "OK. I STEAL!!"
my dog: "I RUN! I EAT! I LOVE TREAT! I EAT HERE, YOU NO SEE ME"


my dog: "YOU TAKE LEASH! I SO HAPPY! WHERE GO?"
me: "we are going for a walk, sweetheart"
my dog: "WE WALK! I SO HAPPY! WHERE GO?"
me: "stop shouting, please"
my dog: "i stop shout. where go?"
me: "to the meadow"
my dog: "MEADOW! I RUN! YOU THROW, I CATCH! WE CHASE!"
me: "yes, but first stop shouting"
my dog: "i stop shout"
my dog: "I SO HAPPY! WE GO MEADOW!"
*on the meadow, some tractors and some people*
my dog: "let go. no leash. i run"
me: "i'm sorry, sweety, but you cannot"
my dog: "WHY I NO RUN? YOU PROMASE I RUN!"
me: "yes, but i didn't know there will be tractors and people"
my dog: "i no care tractoor, i no care human, i want run i run"
me: "no, it's dangerous. please! come, we will run together, but on the leash"
my dog: "but i want run no leash"
me: "i know sweetheart, but now you cannot. i'm sorry"
my dog: "HUMAN! TRACTOOR! GO! I WANT RUN! I NO CARE YOU HERE! I WANT RUN!"
me: "stop shouting"
my dog: "I NO CARE STOP SHOUT, I WANT RUN I RUN!"
my dog: "TRACTOOR! HUMAN! GOOOOOOOOO, I RUUUUUUUUN!"


my dog: "my human, i bring a ball, we play"
me: "and what shall we play?"
my dog: "we play you throw i jump i catch"
me: "okay, give me the ball"
my dog: "no. no take. you throw i jump i catch but you no take"
me: "sweety, i have to take it first to thro..."
my dog: "YOU NO TAKE! I SAY YOU NO TAKE YOU NO TAKE!!"
me: "come ooooon, give me/ there's no other way to play this"
my dog: "fine. you take"
me: "okay, but, let go"
my dog: "i no let go. you take but i no let go"
me: "sweetheart, please, you want to jump and catch?"
my dog: "i want"
me: "then let go, i will take it and i will throw it so you can jump and catch"
my dog: "okay, i let go"
me: "here, now jump"
my dog: "I JUMP! I CA... aaaa, i no catch, it escape"
my dog: "you throw again, i want catch"
me: "okay, give me, i will throw"
my dog: "no, you no take. only throw"


*outside the block, he's running*
my dog: "i so happy. i run!"
me: "yes, but now it's time to go back inside, you ran a lot"
my dog: "why go inside? i want run"
me: "we will come back later, come"
my dog: "you promase?"
me: "i promise"
my dog: "i come"
me: "you forgot your ball"
my dog: "BALL! I TAKE YOU. I LOVE! I NO FORGET HERE"
me: "good boy"
my dog: "i drop ball. ball walk too"
me: "sweetheart, the ball is a dead thing, it cannot walk" *picks up the ball*
my dog: "YOU NO TAKE BALL! I TAKE BALL! BALL MINE! GIVE"
me: "you will drop it again, you're not getting until we come back inside"
my dog: "I GET! GIVE BALL! YOU NO HOLD! I TAKE! I PULL BALL, YOU NO HOLD BALL! YOU NO HOLD BALL ROPE, LEAVE!"
me: "okay okay, take it by yourself"
my dog: "good ball. i love ball"
my dog: "we arrive door. i take ball inside"
my dog: "we arrive elevator. ball wait on floor"
*elevator arrives*
my dog: "i go elevator"
me: "who's going to take the ball?"
my dog: "you take, i no have time, i need lick elevator wall"
me: "stop licking that"
my dog: "AGAIN YOU TAKE BALL!!! GIVE BACK!!! BALL MINE!!! I PLAY BALL, YOU NO TAKE! I PULL, LEAVE!"



« Last Edit: August 20, 2016, 15:48:45 by Shadows-In-Twilight »
all dogs are great, but mine is absolutely 100% the greatest dog who ever dogged!

Shadows-In-Twilight Offline si

  • Global Moderator
  • Forenlichtgestalt
  • *****
  • Posts: 25889
  • ein blick - ein kuss und dann die ewigkeit
Antw:it's a dog's life
« Reply #8 on: August 20, 2016, 15:51:56 »
*outside, playing with the ball*
my dog: "YOU NO TAKE BALL FROM ME! YOU NO TAKE FROM ME!"
my dog: "I RUN! I RUN FAST YOU NO CAN TAKE BALL!"
my dog: "I RUN HERE! I RUN THERE! NO COME NEAR YOU, YOU NO TAKE BALL!"
*5 minutes later*
my dog: "YOU NO TAKE BALL! I RUN I KEEP BALL YOU NO TAKE!"
my dog: "YOU NO TA... AAAAAA SHIT, IT FALL FROM MOUTH!"
me: "finally, you couldn't carry it around like that forever, could you"
my dog: "you no take b... WHY YOU PICK UP BALL?!!!"
me: "to throw it so you can run again"
my dog: "throw"
*3 seconds later"
my dog: "WHERE BALL? WHERE GO? WHY NO COME DOWN?!!!"
me: "i'm sorry sweetheart, it stayed on the tree"
my dog: "why on tree? WHY ON TREE?!! I WANT BALL! I WANT PLAY, I SAD!"
my dog: "TAKE BALL DOWN!!"
me: "i will try, but i cannot promise you"
my dog: "WHY YOU NO PROMASE TAKE BALL DOWN? GIVE BALL!"
me: "i'm too short, sweety"
my dog: "i no care too short, give ball, i want play"
me: "ah, i will try with this big st..."
my dog: "STICK! GIVE STICK! I PLAY STICK!"
me: "leave it. this stick is not for you, i need to get down your ball"
my dog: "where ball?"
me: "IT'S ON THE FREAKING TREE AND I NEED THE STICK TO TAKE IT DOWN!"
my dog: "ah ... again you go find stick, this mine, i play stick you take ball down, then i play ball"


my dog: "what you eat?"
me: "ice cream"
my dog: "for me"
me: "no, for me"
my dog: "i eat. give"
me: "no, i will eat it, you will just get a little bit"
my dog: "I EAT ALL! FOR ME!"
me: "no, just a little bit, sweety"
my dog: "ALL! I EAT ALL!"
*5 seconds later*
my dog: "i bring toy"
me: "wait, we cannot play now, i'm eatin..."
my dog: "we no play. i give toy, you give ice cream"


my dog: "what you make?"
me: "i'm preparing your meal"
my dog: "what i eat?"
me: "chicken wings with ..."
my dog: "CHICKUN WING! MY FAVORITE!"
me: "haha, everything is your favorite"
my dog: "quick, i eat chickun wing. you so slow"
me: "wait, it's not ready yet"
my dog: "i no care no ready, i eat chickun wing"
me: "ahahahaha, here, eat"
my dog: "you no laugh i eat chickun wing, why you laugh?"
me: "because you are so funny and cute"
my dog: "i cute, i no funny"
*half a minute later*
my dog: "i no eat chickun wing anymore, i full"
my dog: "i play ball now"
my dog: "ball, no escape from me. ball, stay!"
my dog: "i bring chickun wing"
me: "EY! why you brought that chicken wing here and dropped it on the carpet?"
my dog: "ball hungry"
me: "hahaha, a ball is a dead thing, it cannot be hungry, sweeheart"
my dog: "IT HUNGRY! YOU WATCH! I WATCH TOO! BALL EAT CHICKUN WING!"
*20 seconds later*
my dog: "why ball no eat chickun? ball hungry"
me: "because it cannot eat, it's a dead thing"
my dog: "why ball no eat?"
me: "because that's how it is. go on, sweetheart, you eat the chicken wing"
my dog: "i go get chickun wing i eat, ball eat this chickun wing"


my dog: where you go?
me: out, and you a...
my dog: i too
me: yes, you too, i am takin...
my dog: i come too
me: yes, we are g...
my dog: i too out, you no go alone
me: SHUT UP! you are coming with me, i'm taking you pee and p...
my dog: i take ball too
me: okay, take it
my dog: i so happy
*outside*
my dog: throw ball. i jump. throw ball, i so happy
my dog: THROW BALL! I SAY THROW BALL THROW BALL! I WAIT!
me: sit
my dog: I NO SIT! YOU THROW BALL, I RUN I CATCH!
me: okay, but sit first
my dog: i sit
me: okay run, catch it *throws a ball*
my dog: I RUN BA... WHERE BALL? WHERE GONE?
me: oh shit, it's on the tree ...
my dog: YOU AGAIN THROW ON TREE?! I NO PLAY BALL ANYMORE, YOU NO KNOW PLAY BALL! I NO WANT TREE PLAY BALL!
me: calm down, i will get it down somehow
my dog: i no calm down! i want play ball! give ball!
my dog: GIVE BALL! I NO CARE ON TREE! GIVE BALL, YOU NO PLAY ANYMORE, YOU NO KNOW PLAY BALL!
*ball falls down*
me: here, go catch it
my dog: i catch. i no run anymore
me: why?
my dog: i take care ball, you no throw on tree anymore. you no play anymore. i take care ball, ball mine
me: oh come on, sweetheart, give me th...
my dog: YOU NO TAKE FROM ME! I TAKE BALL I ESCAPE!


my dog: "aaaa you finally come. where you go?"
me: "i was shopping s..."
my dog: "for me"
me: "no, this time not fo..."
my dog: "for me"
me: "i said no"
my dog: "for m... what this smell?"
me: "what smell?"
my dog: "i smell clothes. i smell here. i smell there"
me: "ooooooh come on, i was in the shop, i didn't touch any other dog"
my dog: "you promase?"
me: "i promise"
my dog: "i smell anyway"
*5 minuts later*
me: "okay, stop sticking to me, i can't even walk"
my dog: "BUT I MUST SMELL!"
me: "what for?"
my dog: "ah, you no smell other dog, i happy. i kiss"
*10 minutes later*
my dog: "i come. treats in pocket"
me: "which pocket?"
my dog: "TREATS IN POCKET!"
me: "huh?"
my dog: "you no act stupid, i smell treats in pocket when come home, you give treats"


my dog: "what you d...? aaaaaah no no no, you no laptop"
me: "oh really? you're going to tell me what i'm going to do?
my dog: "yas. i say we cuddle we cuddle"
me: "haha, you silly"
my dog: "why silly? i no silly, you silly"
me: "because you didn't want to cuddle when i wanted to"
my dog: "when you want cuddle?"
me: "like ... 5 minutes ago"
my dog: "you lie. i always want cuddle, i no no want!"
me: "i have things to do on lapt..."
my dog: "YOU NO LAPTOP! WE CUDDLE! I KICK LAPTOP! YOU NO TYPE!"
me: "okay come on, i will cuddle you with one hand"
my dog: "I WANT HUG! YOU NO CUDDLE ONE HAND, YOU CUDDLE TWO HAND! YOU NO LAPTOP!"
my dog: "I KICK LAPTOP! YOU NO LAPTOP, WE CUDDLE! TWO HAND, I NO LIKE ONE HAND CUDDLE. YOU HUG!!!"
me: "okay, come over here, i will hug you, i will cuddle you, okay?"
my dog: "i so happy!"
*20 seconds later*
my dog: "i no cuddle anymore, enough"
me: "okay, then i can do my job on the lapt..."
my dog: "YOU NO LAPTOP! WE CUDDLE AGAIN!"


my dog: "what you eat?"
me: "ice-cream"
my dog: "i too. i please, i sit pretty, give. i too like"
me: "okay, come here, i will put in your bowl"
my dog: "i so happy, i eat scream"
*10 seconds later*
my dog: "what you eat?"
me: "i'm still eating ice-cream"
my dog: "i too. i please, i sit pretty, give. i too like"
me: "but i just gave you almost half of mine"
my dog: "you no give, i no get. come look, bowl no have scream"
me: *sighs*
my dog: "give. i sit pretty, i please! give scream!"


my dog: "what you do?"
me: "i'm drawing"
my dog: "you drawing. what mean?"
me: "it mea..."
me: "you have stick"
me: "it's called a pencil"
my dog: "it stick. i want"
me: "you can't have it, sweety"
my dog: "give. i too play stick"
me: "nope, it's not a stick to play with"
my dog: "GIVE STICK!"
me: "shut up, you're not get..."
my dog: "I NO SHUT UP! I GET STICK!!"
me: "SILENCE! go to your place"
my dog: "but i want stick!"
me: "GO TO YOUR PLACE!"
my dog: "okay, i go my place"
*5 seconds later*
my dog: "i get stick now?"


my dog: "what you do?"
me: "i'm eating"
my dog: "what eat? i too"
me: "i'm eating a banana, you don't like it"
my dog: "i like. give. i too"
me: "you don't like a banana, stop"
my dog: "I TOO! I LIKE! I TOO BANANA!"
me: "oh shut up, you never liked it"
*a moment of silence*
me: "EY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"
my dog: "i steal banana. i steal from hand. i escape"
me: "get back here, you little bastard"
my dog: "i no get back, i escape. i look your eyes i escape"


my dog: 'why you open drawer?'
me: 'i need a brush to brush you, sweetheart'
my dog: 'why you brush me?'
me: 'because you look messy'
my dog: 'i no messy, i beautiful'
me: 'yes, but we need to take care of your hair so you can look more beaut...'
my dog: 'NOOOO, YOU NO USE DRY SHAMPOO, YOU ONLY BRUSH! YOU NO TOUCH DRY SHAMPOO!'
me: 'but sweety, you stink'
my dog: 'i no stink! I NO STINK!'
my dog: 'i escape'
me: 'calm down'
my dog: 'you no use dry shampoo, i escape'
my dog: 'you no brush either'
my dog: 'i escape, i no want shampoo'
me: 'STOP! COME HERE!'
my dog: 'i come, you no angry, i love'
me: 'SIT!'
my dog: 'i sit. i sad now, i pull back ears'
me: 'good boy, i will bru...'
my dog: 'i kiss'
me: 'enough. i will brush you n...'
my dog: 'YOU NO BRUSH! NO USE DRY SHAMPOO! I ESCAPE!'



all dogs are great, but mine is absolutely 100% the greatest dog who ever dogged!

Shadows-In-Twilight Offline si

  • Global Moderator
  • Forenlichtgestalt
  • *****
  • Posts: 25889
  • ein blick - ein kuss und dann die ewigkeit
Antw:it's a dog's life
« Reply #9 on: August 20, 2016, 15:55:43 »
my dog: "i hungry"
me: "i know, wait a little bit, i'm preparing your food"
my dog: "hurry, you slow. i starve"
me: "oh, really? haha, you liar"
my dog: "I STARVE! HURRY!"
me: "here, here. enjoy"
my dog: "finally! i eat!"
my dog: "uuuugh, this smell different. what this?"
me: "it's meat"
my dog: "it smell bad, meat no smell bad, meat smell good. what this?"
me: "it's meat, sweetheart"
my dog: "no. it vegutable. i know it vegutable. you mix vegutable meat"
me: "yes, a i put a little bit of vegetables, so what? it's..."
my dog: "i no like vegutable"
me: "oh come on, it's just a little bit of cucumber and paprika"
my dog: "I NO CARE LITTLE BIT, I NO LIKE VEGUTABLE!"
me: "you ate this when you were a puppy, go ahead, try. it's tasty."
my dog: "i no care tasty, i no like"
me: "and it's healthy"
my dog: "i no care healthy, healthy no good"
me: "well as you wish, you're not getting anything else. starve then"
my dog: "i no liiiiiike. i saaaaaad"
*10 seconds later*
my dog: "okay, i eat little bit. i really hungry"
*30 seconds later*
my dog: "i come living room"
me: "you ate already?"
my dog: "i no eat all. i eat half. healthy yuck"
*2 minutes later*
my dog: "healthy no good"
*2 minutes later*
my dog: "i no like vegutable"
my dog: "i hate"
me: "okay, i got it. shut up now"
my dog: : OOOH, YOU EAT SCREAM! GIVE!"


eating ice-cream, when suddenly ...
my dog: "i kick you. i too here"
me: "ah, you woke up"
my dog: "yas. no. i no sleep. i kick you"
me: "stop kicking my back"
my dog: "i too here! I TOO HERE!"
me: "what is it?"
my dog: "you eat scream. i too scream. give scream"
*few seconds later*
my dog: "you no give i sad. give scream"
me: "okay, BUT! you will have to earn it"
my dog: "what? what i do?"
me: "sit pretty"
my dog: "i sit pretty"
me: "good boy. down"
my dog: "i down"
me: "great! now sit"
my dog: "i sit"
me: "good. high five"
my dog: "i high five"
me: "good boy. kiss"
my dog: "i kiss"
me: "good! now you can have a little bit of my ice cream"
my dog: "i no little bit, i get all!"


my dog: "what you do?"
me: "i'm going to give you food now, you will eat"
my dog: "finally! i starve i die! what i eat?"
me: "chicken wi..."
my dog: "CHICKUN WING! MY FAVORITE!"
me: "it's ready, come"
my dog: "i run, i eat"
me: "sit. wait"
my dog: "i sit. i wait. i jump food, i eat"
me: "WAIT!"
my dog: "why wait? i hungry!"
me: "ART?!"
my dog: "okay, i wait"
me: "good boy!"
*5 seconds later*
me: "okay, you can eat now"
my dog: "i jump food, i starve!"
my dog: "chickun wing! i love chickin wing"
my dog: "it good, i like"
*1 minute later*
my dog: "i bring chickun wing living room"
my boyfriend: "Arty, why did you bring this here?"
my dog: "i lay down i eat"
my dog: "chickun wing tasty"
my dog: "i no feel stand i eat, i lay down i eat"


my dog: "quick, my human, QUICK!!!"
me: "what is it, sweetheart?"
my dog: "quick, i need pee"
me: "wait, i need to wear my c..."
my dog: "i no wait, i pee. i drink all water, i need bad pee"
me: "okay, let's go. sit"
my dog: "i sit. i wait. quick, bad pee"
me: "let me just put your collar on"
my dog: "you put collar, quick, i need pee. PEE!"
me: "okay, let's go"
my dog: "ah, i forget eat food. i no go pee, i eat now"
me: "what the ..."
my dog: "i starve"


my dog: "oh, you bring food! for me!"
me: "yes, for you"
my dog: "for me"
me: "shut up"
my dog: "what it?"
me: "chicken wi..."
my dog: "CHICKUN WING! MY FAVORITE!"
my dog: "you give i wait"
me: "here, my good boy"
my dog: "i good boy i wait"
me: "you can eat now"
my dog: "you hold chickun wing i gnaw i eat"
me: "WHAT?"
my dog: "you hold i eat"
me: "haha, you wish. no way"
my dog: "i no bend down i eat. you hold i eat. i eat up. you no hold i no eat"
me: "then be hungry, you silly"
my dog: "i sad you no hold i eat"
my dog: "I HUNGRY!"
me: "go eat"
my dog: "you no hold i no eat"
me: "as you wish"
my dog: "I STARVE!"
*1 minute later*
my dog: "i go eat, i hungry"
me: "good boy"
my dog: "i good boy. you hold i eat now?"


my dog: what this?
me: it's a treat
my dog: for me
me: yes, for you. eat it
my dog: for me
me: yes. open your mouth
my dog: wait, i smell
my dog: it smell strange. what this shit?
me: it's a treat to protect you from ...
my dog: you lie. it medicine. i no eat medicine
me: eat, i said
my dog: you no force mouth open! i throw out of mouth!
me: EAT!
my dog: I NO EAT!
my dog: where you go?
me: here, you are hungry
my dog: ah, good no medicine. yas, i hungry
my dog: nomnomnom, this good. it tas... wait, what this smell?
my dog: MEDICINE! i no eat anymore!
me: sweetheart, you can die from that worm, please, eat it!
my dog: i no eat medicine!
my dog: you no force in mouth! YOU NO FORCE IN MOUTH!
my dog: i throw out! i throw out again!
my dog: you force in mouth i swallow ... i sad now


my dog: what do?
me: i'm packing, sweety, we are going for vacations
my dog: i come
me: of course! i would never leave you here alone!
my dog: i too come
me: yes, sweetheart, you are coming as well.
my dog: i so happy! i kiss you!
my dog: what this?
me: it's your things, your first aid, toys...
my dog: BALL! we play!
me: not now, we will play on the beach!
my dog: we play the bitch
my dog: why here muzzle? i no take muzzle
me: you will probably not need it, but j...
my dog: no probably need muzzle! i say no need muzzle, no need muzzle! you leave muzzle home!
me: no, i will take it wi...
my dog: you no take muzzle. i steal now!


on the beach
my dog: "where go?"
me: "we're going to swim"
my dog: "i no swim. i no like."
my dog: "water big. i no can stand. i afraid"
my dog: "i no come water"
me: "come on, sweetheart, i'm with you, i will take care of you and make sure you are fine"
my dog: "i no come. i no move here. i afraid"
me: "okay, then i'm going alone"
my dog: "where go?"
my dog: "MY HUMAN! COME BACK! MY HUMAN!!!!"
my dog: "I COME! WAIT! I COME TOO! I SAVE YOU! YOU NO DROWN!"
me: "i'm okay, you silly, i'm just swimming."
my dog: "you wait me. i swim i save you. i say you wait me!"
me: "good boy!"
my dog: "ah, you okay, i go back now, i afraid!"


my dog: what eat?
me: ch...
my dog: you eat chips! i too!
me: chips is not for dogs
my dog: GIVE! I TOO CHIPS!
me: calm down, i'm joking.
my dog: you no joke me, i eat chips
me: here, take it
my dog: i get chips, i so ha... wait, taste strange. what this shit?
me: it's a chips
my dog: no, it no chips! always taste different. this no chips!
me: it's just another company, you silly, but it's still a chips
my dog: NO! I WANT EAT PRINGUL CHIPS! GIVE PRINGUL!
me: i don't have pringels
my dog: GIVE PRINGUL!
me: i only have this. eat it or leave it
my dog: i no eat this shit, i want eat pringul! GIVE PRINGUL!
me: *sighs*


me: "come on, bring me a ball"
my dog: "A BALL! WE PLAY! I SO HAPPY!"
me: "yes, sweetheart, we will play now. go get a ball"
my dog: "i go i get ball. we play. my human play ball, i so happy"
my dog: "i take ball"
my dog: "i bring ball. my human take ball. we play. i so happy"
me: "but this is ..."
my dog: "it ball"
me: "nope, this is a d..."
my dog: "BALL! IT BALL! WE PLAY! I HAPPY!"
me: "we will play, but this is a duck, not a ball"
my dog: "IT BALL!"
me: "you funny, it's a duck, look. it has wings, it has..."
my dog: "i no care it have, it ball!"
me: "okay okay ... it's a ball"
my dog: "i say it ball no duck, it ball no duck"
my dog: "you throw i catch"
me: "good. i will throw it now. ready? aaand ... there it goes"
my dog: "i catch ba... EY! WHY NO JUMP FLOOR?!"
me: "because it's a duck, i told you"
my dog: "IT NO DUCK! IT BALL! IT BAD BAD BALL!"



all dogs are great, but mine is absolutely 100% the greatest dog who ever dogged!

Shadows-In-Twilight Offline si

  • Global Moderator
  • Forenlichtgestalt
  • *****
  • Posts: 25889
  • ein blick - ein kuss und dann die ewigkeit
Antw:it's a dog's life
« Reply #10 on: August 20, 2016, 16:04:14 »
and as a bonus picture ...  ;D  my dog's idea of being clean and beautiful ...  ::)  ;D


all dogs are great, but mine is absolutely 100% the greatest dog who ever dogged!

WalkAbout Offline fr

  • Forenlichtgestalt
  • *****
  • Posts: 5756
Antw:it's a dog's life
« Reply #11 on: August 21, 2016, 21:53:11 »
and as a bonus picture ...  ;D  my dog's idea of being clean and beautiful ...  ::)  ;D



XDD Thanks for sharing and creating the topic!!! I haven't been able to find the time now to read through everything, but it's a great idea and I'm sure reading it will be pure joy! I will certainly return back to it tomorrow, but couldn't stop from saying my thanks right now :))) ^^
It always looks like a straight line outside when everything is bent inside.

Shadows-In-Twilight Offline si

  • Global Moderator
  • Forenlichtgestalt
  • *****
  • Posts: 25889
  • ein blick - ein kuss und dann die ewigkeit
Antw:it's a dog's life
« Reply #12 on: August 21, 2016, 22:43:24 »
XDD Thanks for sharing and creating the topic!!! I haven't been able to find the time now to read through everything, but it's a great idea and I'm sure reading it will be pure joy! I will certainly return back to it tomorrow, but couldn't stop from saying my thanks right now :))) ^^

it becomes even funnier when you know these were all real situations, i just added his replies, figuring them out by his actions and shoutings ;D
all dogs are great, but mine is absolutely 100% the greatest dog who ever dogged!

Shadows-In-Twilight Offline si

  • Global Moderator
  • Forenlichtgestalt
  • *****
  • Posts: 25889
  • ein blick - ein kuss und dann die ewigkeit
Antw:it's a dog's life
« Reply #13 on: August 22, 2016, 11:02:02 »
my dog: "good morning! wake!"
me: "whaaaaaat?"
my dog: "i say wake!"
me: "stop licking my face, would you?"
my dog: "WAKE!"
me: "but sweetheart, i want to sleep"
my dog: "you no sleep. you sleep enough. wake!"
me: "stop licking my face, please"
my dog: "BUT YOU NO WAKE! WAKE!!!!"
me: "eeeey, your mouth stinks!"
my dog: "i no care mouth stink! wake!"
my dog: "mouth no stink"
my dog: "mouth stink i no care. WAKE!!!"



all dogs are great, but mine is absolutely 100% the greatest dog who ever dogged!

Shadows-In-Twilight Offline si

  • Global Moderator
  • Forenlichtgestalt
  • *****
  • Posts: 25889
  • ein blick - ein kuss und dann die ewigkeit
Antw:it's a dog's life
« Reply #14 on: August 22, 2016, 19:01:59 »
my dog: "again you go? where go?"
me: "i'm just running to the store, i'll be b..."
my dog: "i come"
me: "no, you cannot. i will be back soon"
my dog: "why i no come?"
me: "because you're not allowed to enter the store"
my dog: "but i want come!"
me: "no, you cannot. come here, give me a kiss and i will go"
my dog: "i no give kiss. you also no give kiss"
me: "but why?"
my dog: "i no can come"
me: "okay, then i'm going. bye"
my dog: "WAIT! MY HUMAN! WAIT!!! YOU FORGET KISS!"



all dogs are great, but mine is absolutely 100% the greatest dog who ever dogged!