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Off-Topic / Antw:GAME - Cause and Effect
« Last post by NiNo on Today at 04:09:50 »
to be afraid of people's judgement, you should be afraid of not to fit in society
Off-Topic / Antw:Now and next Playing/What are you listen
« Last post by Darkness_6 on Yesterday at 22:15:41 »
I am listenning to Lichtgestalt. This is like a bad story... devil makes me feel anxious. However, Tilo explains it very good. It makes me feel oddly comfortable.
Off-Topic / Antw:Now and next Playing/What are you listen
« Last post by Liv' on October 11, 2017, 20:09:23 »
The Crüxshadows - Of Angels
The Crüxshadows - Astronauts
Off-Topic / Antw:TODAY'S WORD...
« Last post by Liv' on October 11, 2017, 20:06:33 »
Wednesday: despair
Deutsches Unterforum / Antw:Testimonium
« Last post by Indifferent on September 22, 2017, 22:05:10 »
Ich habe "Testimonium" noch nicht gehört, irgendwann komme ich auch noch dazu, aber es hat keine Eile für mich. Es ist bestimmt ein großartiges Album geworden und die Freude darauf macht es noch größer!

Was mich nur traurig macht - es hört halt nicht auf.

On the other side, I'll see you again. Noch so einer der besten, der zu jung gestorben ist.

R.I.P., Felix!

Off-Topic / Antw:Thought in one line
« Last post by Kitty on September 15, 2017, 09:30:09 »
Nothing really interesting, just needed to shout it out somewhere. Old wounds never heal, it seems.
People are so brutal in their honesty. I know so much I would've been happier not to know. But who cares? Who ever cared for my feelings? What I had in my heart for so many people was trampled down gleefully, and what I held the dearest ... there's yet no words within me that could really mean it. Sometimes things hurt so much you can't even talk about it even within yourself. But it lives. For years, only adding up more and more. I was raised to never complain to anyone, about anything. I can only shrug it off, laugh it off, try to play cool around it. I can't even avoid getting back to it -- I can only try to come to terms with it and give it a name. It still hurts -- still hurts recalling, still hurts, still hurts, as the words swirl within and don't calm down. I can't even wish these people to experience what I feel -- I can only wish them to be happy. One day you stop wanting grand things -- for yourself -- and is it, tell me, is it weakness? really? is it? truly? I want only peace, only small things, only things I can control, only people who really care about me. It is so easy to see. I don't believe words anymore, I don't believe art anymore, I basically don't believe anyone except a select few I can claim I really know. This is what life is. This is what you really taught me. I will dissect how I feel, burn it to ashes and bury it under the full moon.

It's good that you shout it out :) we all need that once a while, there's no reason to keep inside because speaking it out loud often already reduces some of it's burdening energy...  sometimes I wonder, what fucking liars are we all. And in most parts to ourselves... "I was raised", but what is it you want? That's the thing I'm struggling with for over a year now... people taught me to be thoughtful, polite, feel along with people... but when I see how cool everyone gets today, all for themselves... we don't even stop anymore when we see someone fall!!!! because "I got to catch my train". Sad. So please! Don't keep things inside, set them free, free yourself from burdens, not in a negative way but in positive one... talk it through with those happy few you do trust... and you know, those you really belong to you can count on one hand, that's reality... not the over 300-400 friends one has on facebook... we all live in a fake world these days. (that's just my opinion).
Off-Topic / Antw:What has made u happy or miserable
« Last post by Kitty on September 15, 2017, 09:10:32 »
miserable: I had an accident the end of august... my foot was nearly healed... I got to the bus yesterdaymorning... one second of unthoughtful thinking ... misplacing ... THE SAME GODDAMN FOOT!... I'm so tired of being in pain, I'm so tired of fighting, I'm so tired of neglecting myself, I'm so tired.

happy: my little sweet baby boy (who's almost turning one years old, time flies!) always makes me smile... he remembers me why I'm still alive, why I still need to be on this goddamned planet umongst these fuckers who destroy everything for everyone who just wants to live in peace...

sad: I'm having one of these days where I just can't look at the brigth side... though I know there is ... this bright side.
Off-Topic / Antw:TODAY'S WORD...
« Last post by Kitty on September 15, 2017, 09:07:18 »
Friday: Pain
Off-Topic / Antw:How About Poetry???
« Last post by Kitty on September 15, 2017, 09:05:47 »
Ich vermisse Dich,
den wärmen Blick in den Augen,
das Vertraute Gefühl das immer folgt
dein tröstender Lächeln,
all dem was dich umfasst
und niemand die es sehen kann,
ich vermisse es
wie wir Leid und Liebe teilten
in der Seele verbunden,
Kraftig hin und her, getröstet in der Kälte
ich vermisse die Freiheit
zu finden in der Leere
das Leben rasstet vorbei
und ich kann nur denken an all den Tagen
wo ich Zeit gemacht habe um heraus zu gehen
im Nichts verweile ich noch in Liebe
nur Hass umfasst mein Herz
ich vermisse dich
wo du meine Ruhe und herz geheilt hast,
wie Die Sonne die Wind umfasste
und in der Ewigkeit hinein spazierte
ich vermisse dich
wie einfach das Leben war und doch
das ist es immer wenn man zurück schaut.
Off-Topic / Antw:How About Poetry???
« Last post by Kitty on September 15, 2017, 08:59:25 »
Was wenn wir aufhören zu träumen?
Das eine Moment Lacht man,
im folgenden kann man nur weinen
das Ewige hin und her eist seinen Toll
wie schön es sein könnte, wie anders es wäre wenn...
falsche Entscheidungen? vielleicht gibt es sie doch
aber dann gibt's immer Wege wo man trennt von dem
von all dem was sich falsch anfühlt
und kommt man zurück? Aber niemals da wo man war...
Was wenn ich aufhöre zu atmen?
das eine Moment kann ich lachen
dem folgenden nu weinen
das flüsteren in Gedanken; ich kann nicht mehr
aber trotzdem macht man weiter
und weiter dann weiter hinaus
ich bin zu weit weg von all dem was ich war
all dem was ich bin und all dem was ich sein will
was ist wenn ich aufhöre zu traurn?
über all dem was ich verloren habe, irgendwann,
all dem was ich einem angetan,
zurück zur Anfang? Wie geht denn das?
Und jetzt ist es allein,
alleine herumwühlen in der Vergangenheit
Vergessen, ich möchte so gerne so viel vergessen
meine Gefühle einen Moment ausschalten,
nicht mehr nachdenken über, sondern nur sein
sein, all dem was ich bin,
nicht sein was ich habe,
was ist wenn ich aufhöre zu sein?
mein Rufen im Stillen stumm wird
verstorbene Seele, betrunken Herz
nur noch das Flüstern in Gedanken; ich kann nicht mehr.
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